B-LOG SLAYING: Brain Lord (SNES)

Brain damage (*rimshot*)

    I haven’t done one of these in a while. Shucks. Bear with me if I have forgotten how to do these. This is my first big gaming disappoint with my backlog journey so far. Most of the other games I’ve played and documented have either exceeded my expectations, or at least met them. This game here, this Brain Lord, has definitely fallen quite short of my high expectations. Why were my expectations so high? Maybe because I saw that beautiful purple “e” on the cartridge. Maybe because the few screenshots I checked out before playing looked great. Maybe because the box cover art is badass as all get out. Or maybe because of the few other people on Instagram telling me this game rocked. Well, folks, it really didn’t rock. Now, this isn’t a bad game, per say. I know a lot of people do like it. I would probably suggest it to someone to play through at least once. I bought my copy from Amazon (with a birthday giftcard) for $16 (and the obligatory $3.99 shipping), and I don’t think I’d paid any more than that ($20 including the shipping). Interestingly enough, and I didn’t know this until just yesterday, this game is sort of part of a trilogy of games published by Enix, with the first being The 7^th Saga and the final game being a non-North American game Mystic Ark. Apparently the main character’s name (if you choose to keep the default) is Remeer, is used in both those games as well. 7^th Saga is on my radar to buy, but I’d never heard of Mystic Ark. Maybe that’ll be added to my, “modded PSP non-English games to download” list (ssshh! Don’t tell anyone). I guess I was just hoping I’d get more of a Soul Blazer kind of game (which this game sort of looks like). Even though Soul Blazer has its problems, that’s a game I would like to play again at some point. I’m pretty sure I can’t say the same about Brain Lord. Do you guys wanna look at a lopsided cons/pros list? I knew you would!

CONS

• The jumping sucks. And it’s such an integral part of the game
• The enemies respawn if killed. This is disappointing. Compound this with the fact that they respawn if you just leave the screen and come back, and it’s downright frustrating. Isn’t that NES-type garbage?
• While I appreciate the puzzles, there just is not a good variety of them. Almost all are of the “pushing things onto buttons to open doors” kind.
• The menus are very tedious. It’s a small complaint, but it gets old really fast

Yikes. That’s a lot. The pros are gonna look kind of silly in comparison:

PROS

• The bosses are pretty fun. There are only four of them, but they are all big, varied, colorful, and in general provide a decent challenge
• On the inverse of the puzzle complaint above, the puzzles do break up the monotony of the game. None of the puzzles are brain-bustingly hard, but there were a few that took me a long time to figure out
• Oh yeah! I like the Jade system (and the magic system is good too)

    The cons seem to far outweigh the pros in this game. That isn't to say this game is no good, no. It has it's flaws, but I know people like this game a lot (on Instagram, and a few forums, at least). Is it worth a playthrough? Probably. While you are playing through, expect to run into shit like...
    ...jumping. How can a game get jumping wrong? When I first started playing, I was shocked (and excited) that you actually could jump in this gamed. Seems a little odd for most action-adventure games like this. Too bad any sense of excitement goes out the window the first time (of many) you have to jump across platforms. Ugh. The jumping feels stiff, and it needs to be fairly accurate. I mean, no shit right? Obviously jumping has to be accurate. What I mean is, you need to jump from the middle of a given platform. Say you're on a platform, and you need to jump to one that is in front of it. There's black nothingness in between one platform and the next. So you go to jump, but you hit the "jump" button too late. Even though you are still on the platform, since you waited until you were at the edge of said platform to jump, the jump won't register. You'll go falling into the abyss, like a moron. You have to make sure you jump when you're in roughly the middle of whatever you are standing on. Seems like it shouldn't make one monkey-shit of a difference, as long as you are on the platform when you press the "jump" button. This gets very aggravating, because, as I said, there is a fair amount of jumping in this game. Very disappointing.
    This next complaint isn't as heinous as the bad jumping controls, but it can be annoying. Enemies respawn. It happens in lots of SNES games. Hell, it still happens in games nowadays. It can suck, but it's not a huge deal. Except in this game, you can kill an enemy, walk five or six steps away, then walk back, and that enemy will be alive again. It's great for farming, but it's very irritating otherwise. I can understand an enemy respawning if you leave the room and come back, but just taking a few steps? Bummer!
    As I said above, I do appreciate the puzzles, even though generally I'm godawful at puzzles. But they take puzzles, which are a pretty integral part of the game, and they make them boring and tedious. Most of the puzzles consist of a room with a certain amount of buttons, and a corresponding number of rocks/balls. Once pushed, the balls roll until they hit something (the walls, the rocks, etc). It's usually about configuring the rocks so they stop the balls, and the balls can be pushed onto the buttons to open the doors. They can be fun, and pretty challenging, but when a good 75% of all the puzzles in the game are this basic premise, it gets old. Fast.
    I suppose you could lump this next grievance in with puzzles, but I'd like to bitch about the Dark Zones in the final area of the game, the Platinum Shrine. They look like this:

Whoopie! So much fun!

    Looks fun, right? Ha, WRONG. It's a totally pitch black area. Your light-Jade (I'll get into the Jade's in a bit. For now, just know they are helpful fairies) can't even light the area. These huge Dark Zones are just mazes that you have to get through. Obviously, the rub is you can't see where you're going, or where the walls are. To call these some lazy fucking puzzles would be a horribly understatement. They are the single reason why I most likely won't ever pick this game up to play again. These are so annoying and ill-conceived, I'd rather not waste my time again in the future. So, after the Dark Zones and rock/ball pushing, what other kinds of puzzles are there? A few where you have to figure out the right order to step on buttons (so many damn buttons in this game); a few where you have to navigate a crumbling floor and figure out which way to go; uh, maybe that's it. I'll get to the puzzles more below.

A typical menu screen. Evil incarnate

    God, the menus. The MENUS! Tedium, thy name is Brain Lord's menus. Firstly, every item/weapon/armor/key (there's dozens and dozens of keys to acquire during the game)  is represented by a crude picture. You will often find items in treasure chests, and then you will have to locate them in your inventory. This can be tough, because you won't know what anything is until you click on something, then a subscreen with the name and description comes up. It's annoying. By the end of the game, you know what most of the items look like, but all the Jades are represented by gem-looking icons, and these all look very similar. Do you want to know what the worst part of the menu interaction is? The X-ray glasses. These are used to bring up a map of the current floor of the dungeon you are on. They are really only needed for the first and the last dungeon, but they are pretty helpful for those two. Here's how a typical usage of those X-ray glasses goes (in steps): 

1. Press button to bring up menu
2. Choose "items"
3. Choose the X-ray glasses
4.  Wait for the flavor text to scroll through
5. Choose "use"
6. Wait for dumb sound effect to fully play
7. Here you get to see the map screen. When you're done looking at it, exit out
8. This brings you back to the flavor text screen, where you chose the "use" option. Wait for the text to scroll again.
9. Exit out of this menu, back to the inventory menu
10. Exit out of this menu, back to the main menu
11. Exit out of this, back to gameplay

    How much fucking fun was THAT? EVERY TIME you need to use those X-ray glasses, you have to go through that song-and-dance. Especially in those aforementioned Dark Zones, it's helpful to bring up the map several times. This gets beyond tedious to have to do this four, five, six times in a one-or-two minute span. Just thinking about it makes me very sad.

    Finally, this isn't a part of the puzzle complaint, but this game relies heavily on locked doors. Every dungeon has probably a dozen plus locked doors. This means, a lot of the game is just trying to find keys to unlock doors to gain access to new areas where more keys will need to be acquired. It's kind of lazy, and I feel pads out the experience a bit.

    I think that's all I have for my cons, but I'd like to talk about two others things. These aren't quite cons, and they certainly aren't pros, so I'll just throw them here. Firstly, the music. It's fine. It does it's job. It isn't memorable though. That's a big let-down. Some of it, towards the end especially, really reminds me of the music from Turtles in Time. So, not all bad, eh? Also, the graphics are only okay. They are fairly bland (especially the dungeons. They are usually just one uniform color, like brown or silver), and maybe even a little ugly. Except the bosses, like I said. They look great.

   Okay, I've bitched about this game enough. There was some fun to be had. Let's try to have it!

    I would like to get back to the puzzles. I really complained about them more than I had intended to, and it probably hurts this point a bit. Oh well, that's just the way it is. Disregarding the horrendous Dark Zones, and ignoring the over-reliance on button puzzles, the puzzles ARE a nice change of pace. There's no better feeling, in general, than finally figuring out a puzzle you have been stumped on. This happened to me a few times throughout my playthorugh. Even better, none of these puzzles are stupidly hard, and I only had to look up the answer to one of them (which, doing just a bit of research, it seems a LOT of people had to do the same. I believe it was an instance of bad translation). I appreciate what the developers wanted to do, which was have an action-adventure game that balances puzzles and combat. I can't help but think how much better, and more varied, the puzzles in Link to the Past are, for example. Shoot, that's negative. We are in the positive section of this blog! Sorry. Um, so yeah, the puzzles. They

can suck, but they can also be okay? Ugh

    Okay, something that is genuinely great about this game. The bosses! I always make it a point to discuss the bosses in all the games I play (duh. Anyone who frequents this blog (do those people exist?) knows that!). This game has pretty good bosses. Where so many other

things are disappointing (including the enemies. They aren't great), the bosses excel. There are unfortunately only four, but they all manage to be unique and fun. I'll go into greater depth with each one, but I can say that they are big (except for one), colorful, and very varied. There's a giant cockroach, a large cycloptic robot, some skeletal ghost guys, and...whatever the hell the Demon King is. They all provide a decent challenge and all are fun to fight. Read on for

more detail on them!

    Finally, this game has two interesting mechanics. Firstly, the magic. You can get several magic spells (I ended the game with five, but I know there are more), and you can use them as you please. You can cycle through them with the shoulder buttons. Each one has a small bar

at the bottom of the screen, and to use the spell, you have to attack and hold the "attack" button, until the bar fills up. Each spell has a differently-lengthed bar. Some spells have bars that only take a second to fill, some take two or three seconds. It's interesting and different. I like it. Also, you can find things called Jades. They are all fairies that help you through your journey.

That white alien-looking guy is the defense Jade. I used him quite a bit

    The Jades can do lots of different things, including: giving you offensive/defensive buffs; giving you actual offense (some shoot fireballs or lightning); lighting up dark areas (as I mentioned above); or revive you if you die. There could be more, I didn't have all of them. Before I started using them (I didn't touch them for the first few hours of the game), I noticed that some defeated enemies left these small blue balls. I couldn't pick them up. I eventually ignored them, until I started using the Jades. These blue balls (tee hee) are experience for your Jades. They can all be leveled up! Honestly, I didn't notice a huge difference with some of my leveled Jades. I think the highest level I got to was 9, with maybe two different Jades. I'm sure there obviously is a difference between a Jade at level 1 and a Jade at level 9. I think it's a subtle one. But these guys give the game a small sense of strategy. It's a neat concept.

    That's my list of pros, however I have something else to add. I discovered this in the town of Toronto (why it's called Toronto, I have no idea. I'll be a monkey's uncle, and all that jazz). There's a small boarding house/apartment type building. On the second floor, there's a hallway with three doors. There's a guy standing outside of his room (the door on the far left), complaining that the room next to his is so loud. He wants to file a complaint to management. If you go into that room (the one in the middle), you'll find two newlyweds standing near their separate beds. They want to be left alone. If you go to the room next to THEIR room (the room on the far right), you'll find a guy standing right near the wall that is adjacent to the newlywed's room. When you talk to him, he stammers about how he's fixing the wall. Demons had broken it, and LEFT A HOLE, when they invaded Toronto. If you've can't quite piece this little narrative together, let me help: a newlywed couple is fucking in their room (otherwise known as "consummating the marriage") so loudly it keeps their neighbor awake. Meanwhile, their OTHER neighbor is peaking in on them doing the nasty, through the hole in the wall. This is incredibly awesome. This little throwaway thing makes me like this game much more than if it wasn't included. 

For reference, this is what Toronto looks like

    This is a flawed game. This is an annoying game. This is, at times, a LAZILY INFURIATING game. But, it's not a bad game. It's just very odd. There are only five dungeons (and only two towns), and each one is VERY LONG (and it gets monotonous after a while). You notice it more because of the lack of dungeons. If they had included one or two more, and shortened the length of each one (maybe took out a few locked doors or Dark Zones), I think the game would flow better and overall be better for it. In each dungeon, you'll experience bad platforming, puzzles (both good and bad), drab colors, boring enemies, and great bosses. I would suggest this game to fans of Enix, or specifically the Soul Blazer trilogy. This game isn't as good as those games, but it's worth playing once, at least. I bought mine for about $16 on Amazon, and that's all I'd pay. So, play it if you have it, or buy it cheap if you find it. But don't really seek it out. It's just not worth it. Sorry for being such a scrooge.

The final screen. I missed the screen that said "Fin".

BOSSES:

Giant Cockroach (located on 4th floor of the Tower of Light)

Fear me!

    He's a big, green cockroach. Pretty random boss for this place. He scurries along the outside of the walls of the room. He won't physically attack you (although if he touches you, it'll hurt), he'll just move around. After you hit him the first time, he will continually shoot out little yellow cockroaches. These bastards are very annoying. Besides these, the big cockroach has no offensive attacks. He just continues to move around the room. Killing the little guys can be tough, because there's usually a lot of them, and unlike their large counterpart (parent?) they like to try and attack you. Kill these little buggers (har har) while you whale on the big one. After you've smashed the big one enough, he dies in an amazing explosion of fiery fire. Observe:

I love when roaches explode when you kill them

    This guy can be annoying, but he's not super tough. Next!

Cycloptic Robot (located in the laboratory in the Site of Civilization)

Robot testicle?

    This one, as you can see by the picture, is a large, round robotic thing. He has an orange "eye" in his center, and wouldn't you know it? That's his ONLY vulnerable spot. It opens and closes periodically, so only attack when it's open. He only really has two means of attacking,

and both are pretty passive-aggressive: firstly, he hovers around the room. Coming in contact with him hurts. So, don't touch him. Secondly, there are two of the big steel balls in this room. These are the ones you push around to solve the button puzzles. These things roll around the room, so they have to be avoided. Occasionally, he will magnetize himself, and pull you (and the balls) towards him. If you get sucked into him, you die instantly. To avoid this, you have to constantly jump while he is trying to suck you in. This will keep you far enough away. I found the boomerang was the best weapon to kill this guy with. He might be a little easier than the cockroach, but that insta-kill attack killed me twice.

Ramus (located at the top of the Ice Castle)

Sorry, crappy pic. It was tough trying to isolate these guys

    Ramus is a little grey goblin that is just up to no good! For whatever reason, the fight isn't against him, but three spectral skeletons. Perhaps they work for Ramus? Who knows. Certainly not me. These skeletons float around, and cannot be attacked regularly. They have to be hit with your newly acquired "stop" magic. If you hit one with this, he will become vulnerable for a short time.

Very vulnerable

    Each one has a set amount of health, so they can each be killed. All you have to do is avoid them floating around, and just try to focus all attacks on one, until he is killed. Once you take out all three skeletons, the battle is over. The skeletons have no offensive attacks, per say. They just try to float into you. It seems most of these bosses aren't overly aggressive. They'd rather sit back and just let you die on your own. However, this battle does take place on an ice floor with some holes in it. That adds an extra layer caution to your battle plan. These guys are tough, and probably tougher than the robot, but a step below the cockroach (I remember him really giving me some early-game problems).

The Demon King (located on the fourth floor of the Platinum Shrine)

Doesn't it look like he has a goofy smile?

    This big green, goofy looking clown is the final boss of the game. Hell, he's the damn Demon King. I can't imagine many demons wanting to take orders from him. But, that's besides the point. This battle has several stages, and it's decently tough (and fun).

    Firstly, he moves around the room, swinging his big scorpion-like tail. That's all he does. It's easy to avoid, as the tail doesn't have the greatest range. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to hurt him. The only way I found was to use the Lightning Bow and shoot him right where his tail connects to his body. An awkward vulnerable-spot for sure, but it doesn't take too many shots to destroy his tail.

Sans tail

    His tail will eventually explode, and his "face" (I guess?) comes out from the middle of his body. He still moves around, but now he shoots fireballs. They arc in the air and hit the floor. These fireballs will cause the floor where it hits to become weak. If you step on that spot, the floor will break. If you fall in any of the eventual-holes, well guess what? You're starting this whole battle over again. Besides the fireballs, if you are directly underneath him, he'll charge at you. At any rate, you have to attack his face. I found it pretty easy to stand to the direct left or right of his face, and just whale away. I was using the heavy mall weapon. Hit his face enough, and the next phase of the battle starts.

    One of his arms will detach after the face has taken so much damage. This arm is basically a big centipede. It can transport around the room and shoot two tough-to-dodge energy balls. The Demon King still moves around and shoots the floor-destroying fireballs, so be aware. You can either attack the centipede arm, and destroy it, or continue attacking his face.

    Either way, eventually you'll have to attack the face so many more times that his other arm detaches itself. It's a flying pterodactyl-like creature. It only flies around the room, and has no other attacks. He's pretty easy to kill. I would suggest trying to kill the centipede first, then forcing the pterodactyl to come out. I had both the centipede AND pterodactyl out, and it got to be a little overwhelming. At any rate, kill both those detached arms, and the final phase of the fight begins.

Armless (love those tortured faces though)

    I must admit, I don't think you actually have to kill both those arms for the final part of the battle to take place. I think it's all predicated on how much damage his face takes. Once it has sustained enough, the "mask" (for lack of a better word. It's the blue-ish thing you've been attacking since destroying his tail) comes off. He still moves around the room, and he still shoots fireballs (by this time, the floor should be pretty cracked up, and it probably has several holes), albeit he moves a bit faster. All you have to do is continue to attack his newly exposed face (love those tortured faces on his back. Like he's trapping doomed souls), and avoid the holes, until he explodes. Once this happens, the boss is defeated, and the game is over.

    This is my favorite boss of the game. He's decently tough, there's lots going on (mini-phases, if you will), and I think he looks cool (despite being goober #1). I ended up using two Reviving Mirrors, two Apples, a Chicken, and a Heart. The toughest part of the battle is keeping an eye on the floor while you're fighting. You want to avoid the cracks when possible, and you REALLY want to avoid the holes, obviously.

    We've come to the end of this post. I think I've covered everything I wanted to about this game. In the end, I'm glad I played it, but I don't see myself playing through it again (at the very least, not for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS). Again, find it cheap enough, grab it at least. It's uncommon and looks great on a shelf in a SNES collection.

   

Final Fantasy IV Advance Diary, Week 2

The grind continues!

Cropped (and huge)!

    I wanted to update this weekly (every Thursday was the original plan), and unfortunately I didn't get to update it last week (which would have been the week of December 20). I barely played that week, so that's basically why. Hopefully, from here on out (again, I'm writing this on December 23, but it won't be published until January 1 or 2), you people will get weekly updates. Anyway, I have played since my last update finally, so let's get right to it.

DAY 4 (12/11/14. PLAYTIME: 2:28 TO 3:18)

 

    I brought the sand ruby back to Rosa, and she wakes up! Joyous day! She suggests going to Fabul castle, which houses a crystal. The idea is to get there before the Red Wings. However, the way to Fabul is through Mt. Hobs, which is blocked by large bits of ice on the road. What's a dark knight to do? At any rate, Rosa joins the party! Later that night, Edward goes out to play his harp (of course he does), and he's attacked by some dumb Sahagin. With the ghost of his fiancee spurring him on, he whops the ass of that weak enemy. She tells him he needs to help his people against the evils of Golbez. After this, my party made their way to Mt. Hobs, and there we found a monk who was kicking serious ass. He's been ambushed, and is fighting all by his lonesome. After he dispatches the normal enemies, he's attacked by a tough boss. This is when the party decided to jump in and help. After the fight, he (his name is Yang) joins the party, and it's on to Fabul. After the Mt. Hobs section (luckily it's very short), I spent the rest of my time just grinding in the area, to level everyone up a bit.
    I don't know if my characters are under leveled, or if Mt. Hobs is really tough, but I had a hell of a time fighting through it. The boss (whom I'll get to momentarily) is the toughest one I've fought so far. This was a pretty good session, capped off with a rough boss (with three distinct phases, to boot). As always, I have bulleted notes:

• Edward seems much stronger than he was before. I don't know if I'm just imagining it or not. I guess seeing Anna's ghost really helped a lot
• There's a lot of character-specific commands that I'm not 100% of their function. Rosa has both an "attack" command, and an "aim" command. Both show her shooting an arrow, but the "aim" one seems to be stronger.

 

BOSS:

Mom Bomb:

I was happy to see these guys (the Firebombs) that I've seen in probably every iteration since I started with VII

    As I said, this is the toughest boss so far. It starts with a normal looking Bomb enemy. Just attack it as normal (Cecil: attack; Yang: attack; Edward: attack; Rydia: Chocobo; Rosa: support). Eventually, it'll explode with the fury of a very pissed off mom. See:

I wouldn't get on her bad side

    This scary-looking red cloud is the "true" form of the Mom Bomb. I guess? It will still attack, but just stick to the same strategy as above. Eventually, again, it'll explode (causing big damage to all five characters) once it's taken enough damage. If this is the "true" form, what else can their be?

Kids!

    So, Mom Bomb was pregnant? Or she always just had several (same size) regular Bombs stored inside her? And why didn't they just explode with her? All that inconsistency aside, this is the toughest part of the battle. It's now just three Bombs and three Grey Bombs, but their sheer numbers are what is so tough about this battle. I had to utilize basically everyone besides Cecil to act as healers/revivers, because these guys attack so often, it's tough to stay on top of healing everyone. Luckily Cecil can take the regular Bombs out in one hit, if I remember correctly. It's an endurance match, that's for sure. Once you kill all six of these guys, the battle is mercifully over.

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DAY 5 (12/13/14. PLAYTIME: 3:19 TO 3:46)

 

    This one will be nice and short. This was strictly grinding (or levelling, whatever you wanna call it). I ran around the area outside of Fabul castle, fighting, gaining experience and gold. I levelled everyone up a few levels. Nothing else to add. Pretty boring to read about!

BOSS:

    None, ya chowdaheads! Didn't you just read that I only grinded! Sheesh.

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DAY 6 (12/22/14. PLAYTIME: 3:47 TO 4:40)

    Big stuff went down today. The group (along with reinforcements) tries (and fails) to defend Fabul castle from the attack from the Red Wings. The gang ends up retreating into the crystal room (which seems like a bad idea to begin with). Kain (!!), apparently under the control of Golbez, whoops Cecil's ass good. Golbez makes his first visual appearance in the game. He comes in, grabs the crystal, and kidnaps Rosa.
    After this, the group is pretty down. But, they decide to try to steal an airship from Baron, to attempt to rescue Rosa and retrieve all the stolen crystals. They leave on a ship, and halfway through the voyage, it gets attacked by Leviathan. Everyone gets knocked off the ship and separated. Cecil wakes up near a small town, Mysidia. You may remember this as the town that Cecil killed people and helped steal a crystal from during the very beginning of the game. Mysidia is full of black and white mages, and they are none-too-happy to see the guy that just recently pillaged and murdered them. If you talk to them, they will poison you, turn you into a cute little frog:

Adorable!

 And turn you into a cuter pig:

Eeeee! ADORABLE!

    After all this hilarious hatred, you can talk to the elder of the town. He tells you if you can renounce your dark knight ways, and become a paladin, he will help you. To do this, you must go through the creatively named Mt. Ordeal. The elder does give you two annoying, crappy apprentice mages to take with you: Palom and Porom. They're little kids, basically. I ended up taking the mages to Mt. Ordeal, and who did I find but Tellah? Thank god! He's searching for the Meteor spell, to get revenge on Golbez. He joins back with you. Finally, the last bit of story before I stopped playing was a scene of Golbez sending a very powerful mage named  Scarmiglione to Mt. Ordeal to kill Cecil. Overall this was a good day. There was lots of great story-driven elements, which I'm enjoying. I'm still very interested in playing the game, which is the biggest compliment I can afford it. I will say, the fighting on Mt. Ordeal IS an ordeal, because your apprentice mages get killed in two hits. Also, the place is filled with zombies and undead creatures that can only really be hurt with white magic. I HATE that! Anyway, notes:

• I'm really starting to hate getting new party members. They are always so much weaker than Cecil, and anyone else in the party. Cecil was level 18 when I got those two, and they were both level 10. Very annoying
• VERY grateful to have Tellah back. I missed him!
• The town of Mysidia is very odd, and it's pretty funny to see how much EVERYONE HATES YOU, and they love fucking with you
• I'm really liking the story so far. It's got me hooked
• I'll say again, fighting on Mt. Ordeal sucks. I generally just run from the battles, because it's not worth trying to fight through it and having Palom and Porom get killed time after time

BOSS:

    Again, none today. I have a feeling I'll be fighting one soon...

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DAY 7 (12/24/14. PLAYTIME: 4:41 TO 4:51)

    Firstly, even though my playtime was only ten minutes, I played for close to an hour. Let's get right into the follies of Mt. Ordeal. My adventure on this Christmas eve started, logically enough, right where I left off last time I played. I almost immediately entered into a boss battle with the aforementioned mage Scarmiglione, and a host of zombie creatures. After beating them, ol' Scar reveals his true form. After this second boss fight (both of which will of course be detailed below), I entered the small chamber at the end of Mt. Ordeal. This is where Cecil would become a paladin. Buuuuuut, in order to that, he has to beat his old dark knight self in a battle. I've struggled if I should include this as a boss battle, because it's really not a battle at all. But, I included Mad Hatter from Arkham Origins as a boss battle, and that was also barely a battle, so what the hell, I will!
    But why did ten minutes of game time take me about fifty minutes of real time? Well, I had to do the section THREE TIMES! I got quite proficient at killing the first two bosses before the dark knight battle, I'll tell you what. I died twice during the Cecil-vs.-himself battle. There's sort of a trick to it, and I couldn't quite figure it out. You can read my exploits below. Otherwise, after Cecil defeated his dark knight self, he became a full fledged paladin. Also, Tellah conveniently remembers that he has knowledge of basically all the magic spells in the game. Something about that place being special, or some BS like that. It seemed pretty silly. At any rate, Tellah now has probably every white and black magic spell in the game (including the almighty Meteor), but he doesn't have enough MP (Meteor takes 99!). I believe that's all that happened during the playthrough. My thoughts:

• Kind of bummed Tellah has dozens of spells he can't use right now. It takes any excitement out of being surprised at the new spells characters will learn
• Also, I hate battles designed for you not to attack. I'll get into it more down below, but maybe it should be a little clearer about that from the onset
• Scarmiglione's true form is pretty badass-looking. Best looking boss in the game so far.
• Also, if he's supposed to be one of the four strongest mages (or wizards. I don't remember what exactly he is) in the world, why is he so easy to kill? I mean, I have two wimpy little kids with me, for crying out loud!
• Also, I discovered I could use Cura (and I assume any healing/buff spell) on the entire party! Normally if it's used on a singular person, it'll heal 250+ points of health. If you use it on the whole party, it only heals 70-80. It's still very helpful

BOSS:

Scarmiglione and Skullnant zombies:

Creeping

    I started this battle by taking out these zombies. They don't seem to attack right away, and even when they do, their attacks seemed pretty weak. I started off with Tellah using Cura to instantly kill one zombie. After that, I had everyone else use hi-potions (also insta-kill) or regular potions and Cures on the zombies. Once the zombies are dead, the wizard himself is pretty easy. He only either uses a normal physical attack (very weak), or he uses thunder (this can cause some problems with Palom and Porom). I had Cecil attack, Palom (the black mage) use Blizzara (for big damage), Porom (the white mage) heal, and I had Tellah use either Blizzard or Cura on the whole party. The wizard falls pretty easily.



Scarmiglione (true form):

Badassing

    After you defeat him and his zombie crew, you continue walking along a bridge, until he stops you, and (back) attacks. I find this battle easier than the first one. You don't have to worry about the zombies, he doesn't attack for damage very often, and he's crazy weak to fire (don't use any ice magic though. He absorbs it!). He uses some attack that should effect the whole party, but as far as I know it doesn't do anything. Not anything noticeable, anyway. And he uses this attack quite a bit, so you can really sit back and just whale on him. He will attack normally - which can cause poison - and this hurts a decent amount. But, he doesn't do it often. I had Palom use Fira (which crushed him for anywhere between 800 and 1000 damage each time), Cecil attack, and Tellah and Porom to heal (occasionally Tellah could use Fire). But with this, he can only stand about four Firas before dying. This battle is a piece of cake (I should know, I did it three times!)



Dark Knight:

Batman, in all his glory

    This is where I got tripped up three times. I'll just say it right off the bat: you're not supposed to attack this clown. If you attack him, you're in for a long battle. Apparently he can be beaten by normal means, but I didn't have near enough hi-potions for this. My first battle with him lasted awhile. We exchanged blows, and I had to heal constantly. During the battle you get a message that says something like, "paladins know when to sheath their swords" (not verbatim, but close enough). So after I attacked this guy for what seemed like forever, I stopped and let him kill me. Game over.
    Okay, so I fought through the two phases of the Scarmiglione battle again, and again I was back fighting my dark self. Again I attacked. I couldn't keep up with his barrage, so I died.
    For a THIRD time I fought Scarmiglione and got to this battle again. I'm not gonna lie guys, I had to look it up. I'm annoyed at myself for doing so, and I'm really going to refrain from doing it anymore in the future, but I didn't want to fight through this area a fourth time. I learned you aren't supposed to attack him at all. After two-or-three of his dark attacks, he stops and the battle is over. I know the game hints at this, but that message didn't come up until at least a minute into the battle. So the very first time, regardless, it sets you up for failure. You get into a battle screen, and you wanna fight.
 

    After this battle, Cecil becomes a Paladin, Tellah remembers all his spells, and then I saved it. I must note also that something is up with those apprentice mages. They are hiding something. I'm sure we'll find out soon. Thanks for reading my second week's journey through Final Fantasy IV! Check back next Thursday for another installment
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Video Game Resolutions (2015 Edition)

 I love cliches!

    A year came to an end. Specifically, the year 2014. I could talk about how the year was (in general, good, with some shit thrown in), but you guys aren't here to read about my personal life. You're hear to, at least partly, read about video games. The year 2014 was a great one for me, video game wise. I played (and beat) a lot of games, I acquired (through various means) a lot of games, and of course I revamped my blog. Also, DARK SOULS II came out. Can't ignore that, considering the first 40 posts of this blog were dedicated to it. 

    So, what does the year 2015 have in store for me and my video game mentality? That's a good question. By a show of hands, who loves "new year resolution" lists? Oh, you ALL do? Perfect! I could sit here and tell you how I'd like to get more in shape (who DOESN'T say that in December 31? Regardless, it's true), try to reign in my anxiety some, try to read more books, and all that happy ox shit, but I'm not going to. What I AM going to do is let  you in on my VIDEO GAMES resolutions for the year 2015. 

    You can refer back to this page periodically to check and see how I'm doing with this list. [author's note, three months after the fact: that previous statement is untrue. I'm doing monthly updates!] Please enjoy! 

I'd like to beat a majority of the handheld games I currently own (as of 1/1/2015)

    My entire handheld library (Gameboy through 3DS)  isn't huge, so this shouldn't be too bad. [author's note: I originally wanted to beat ALL my handheld games, but there is just not enough time in a 365 day year. So a resolution to beat "a majority" of my handheld games is pretty lame, but whatever. I want to focus more on handheld this year than I ever have] Off the top of my head, I have eight handheld games I'd like to beat (not counting the two Star Ocean games. The verdict is still out on them). I'm expecting a few more in the next week or so, and I'll probably count those too. Handheld can be easier because I can play on my lunch break on work, which is at least an hour of play time a day.


I'd like to play games on every console I own

    That's everything from NES to PS3 (and hopefully PS4? Who knows, who knows...). Sometimes I tend to get stuck on a console for a long while (PS3 specifically), so I'd really like to play everything. 2015 is the year of the video game. I want a theme of variety to permeate everything. This should be an easy resolution.


I need to stop stressing over this damn blog

    Not directly video game related, but this is a big one. I started this blog for one person, and one person only: myself. Now, that largely still holds true, but I do promote this a fair bit (be it on Instagram or Twitter). In the end, this blog is maintained so that I can look back on it a few years down the road, and either A.) relive the great memories I had playing these games, or B.) laugh at how dumb this whole endeavor is. Regardless, this blog, whether it be in actual time, or mental time, takes up quite a lot of my time. Sometimes I stress myself over it. Why should I? I appreciate the fact that people actually do read this (even if it's only a small handful), but I'm not getting paid for it. I don't work for a company where blogging is my job. It's a way for me to mash two of my interests (writing and video games) together in a fun way. So, no more stressing. No biggie, guys. Seriously.


I want to BEAT these games:

    This is the real meat and potatoes of the matter here. Come December 31, 2015, at 11:59 PM, I want to say that I beat this list of games in the previous year. It's a bit daunting, but I tried to keep it manageable. Some games on here are ones that people have told me to play FOREVER, some are new titles I've just learned about and am excited, some are games I've owned for a long time but haven't played, and some are games I started but never finished. And yes, I will include (almost) every handheld game I have left to beat (that I really want to beat) on here as well, to go with my handheld resolution. Here it is (they aren't in any order, I just wanted them to be numbered):

1. Dragon Quest VIII (PS2)
2. Any one of the PS1/PS2 era Final Fantasy games (barring XI)
3. Ni No Kuni (PS3)
4. (finish) Alan Wake (360)
5. Child of Light (PS3)
6. Clock Tower 3 (PS2)
7. Duck Tales (NES)
8. Faxanadu (NES)
9. Star Tropics (NES)
10. Galerians (PS1)
11. (finish) Golden Sun: Lost Age (GBA)
12. Granstream Saga (PS1)
13. Magic Sword (SNES)
14. Condemned: Criminal Origins (360)
15. Pier Solar and the Great Architects (Mega Drive, via PS3)
16. Tales of the Abyss (3DS)
17. (finish) Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)
18. Undead Nightmare (Red Dead Redemption DLC) (PS3)
19. Resident Evil 4 (PS2)
20. Secret of Evermore (SNES)
21. At least one (but preferably all three) original Splatterhouse games (Arcade/Mega Drive, via PS3)
22. At least one of the following two RPGs from the Sonic Ultimate Genesis Collection (Shining Force or Phantasy Star) (PS3)
23. Ico (PS3)
24. (finish) The Legend of Zelda (NES)
25. Ys III (SNES)
26. Ocarina of Time (3DS)
27. One of the following two handheld Castlevanias (Circle of the Moon or Rondo of Blood-from Dracula X Chronicles) (GBA or PSP)
28. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (GB)
29. Final Fantasy Legend III (GB)
30. Suikoden (PS1, via PS3)

    Oi, that's a lot of games. I have my work cut out for me this year. Obviously, I'm not  going to stick to this like it's set in stone. I'd like to play stuff organically: whatever strikes me in that moment to play. I highly doubt I'll beat all of these, but if I can beat half, I'll be sitting pretty.

    That's all for my resolutions. I mainly wanted to just blog about the games I wanted to beat this year, but then I expanded it slightly, to make it a bit more interesting. One final production note for 2015: I have a very loose schedule of how I plan to publish blog posts. I'll briefly list them below:


B-LOG SLAYING: This feature is my account of the most recent game I've played. Has no set schedule
BOOKS/GRAPHIC NOVELS: My thoughts on the various books/graphic novels I read. No set schedule
TOP & BOTTOM: This will be a new feature I roll out this year. Simply put, it'll be two lists containing my five favorite and least favorite things (not necessarily five. Maybe seven. Or ten. Or thirteen. Whatever arbitrary number I decide to use). No set schedule yet, but maybe twice a month?
SHANE REMEMBERS: I'm revamping this. Instead of it being weekly (Fridays, to be exact) short anecdotes about old games, it's going to be a monthly post about one specific old game I'm very fond of.
SIMPSONS SEASON 26 REVIEW: Yup, I'm still doing this. I know I'm very behind (see? Apologizing to my non-existent audience. That's stress!). These are simply my reviews of the newest episodes of The Simpsons. No set schedule
DIARY: Currently doing this with Final Fantasy IV Advance. For longer, more complex games (usually RPGs), instead of doing a ridiculously long, bloated, drawn out B-LOG SLAYING, I'm going to do weekly "diary" entries about the games. May end up doing a shorter, summarized B-LOG at the end. Schedule is every Thursday during the playthrough of the game
RANKED: Simply where I rank any number of random topics. No set schedule


    Okay guys and gals, I think that's everything. 2015 is gonna be a big year of gaming for me (hopefully), and I can't wait to share it with all of you! Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year's, and stay tuned for my (long awaited) Week 2 entry of the Final Fantasy IV Advance diary tomorrow, followed by a B-LOG SLAYING for Brain Lord on Saturday. Remember everyone, keep on trucking!