Shane Remembers... (12/19/2014)

Ending the year not with a bang, but a whimper (of old games)

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

   

ANIMAL CROSSING: WILD WORLD (DS)

    This is still the only Animal Crossing game I've ever played. I must say, even though these are like the dumbest games in existence, they are damn fun anyway. This one specifically I played with my sister, back in that brief time when we both had DS's. We would constantly go into each other's towns and do all sorts of magical stuff (and whimsical stuff. Lots of whimsy in this game). I really enjoyed the bug collecting side game. It was addictive. Truly, the whole experience is addictive. You can't really beat it (as far as I know), but you can collect bugs, collect fish, find fossils, decorate your house, mail letters, plant trees/flowers, gather fruit... Yikes, what a fucking stupid game. Anyway, I like it because I have great memories of playing it with my sister. And liking Animal Crossing doesn't make me any less of a man. In fact, it makes me more manly. Yeah. 

Picture courtesy of gamefaqs

 

The SIMPSONS: BART'S NIGHTMARE (SNES)

    I've been on the biggest Simpsons kick lately. I've been (slowly) reviewing season 26, and I recently just put up a pretty good (in my humble opinion, at any rate) post about "vs." episodes. This is a game that I've had since I was a kid. Again, another one my sister and I played a decent amount of. Too bad I could never beat this game. Not even close. I still own it, and I plan on beating it one of these days. I can usually beat the Bartman dream and the Isotope dream (where Bart is swimming in something, destroying little germs, or whatever the hell they are). But, the Indiana Jones one? The Bartzilla one? The Itchy and Scratchy one? Hell no. Can't beat them. Couldn't beat them. I always think about this game, not with fondness, but with disdain. This game can actually go fuck itself pretty hard. 

Picture courtesy of skipfilm

 

TIMESPLITTERS 2 (PS2)

    The theme so far seems to be games I used to play with my sister. Although I will say I also used to play this with friends (and indeed, we still play Future Perfect from time to time). What can I say about this game? This is one instance where a sequel takes everything good about the original and makes it 100 time better. And it takes everything that didn't work, and it throws it out the window. It has an actual story mode, it has better (and more varied) arcade options, it has more characters, more guns, more everything! All you anecdote hounds, hunker down 'cause here's a good one: a favorite arcade scenario my friend David and I (and my sister as well, actually) used to play was the following: an elimination-style match, with 100 lives, in the hospital level. The catch: one shot kills. The hospital is a great level for this, because it's fairly small, cramped, and has some nice corridors. You're constantly paranoid about where you're stepping. Of course, with this being Timesplitters, you can't very well go slowly. Proximity mines, timed mines, remote mines. Boy, the times we had with this set-up where amazing. If anyone wants a fun, furious, anxiety-inducing time, try this! 

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

 

TALES OF DESTINY (PS1)

    I haven't really touched upon RPGs in my "Shane Remembers..." series, mainly because I haven't played as many as I would have liked. A lot of it would be Playstation-era Final Fantasy. People have read about those to death. At any rate, this is yet another game my dad bought on a whim. He ended up disliking it, and I played it and enjoyed it greatly. I was probably still in high school when I played this (and I own it to! Probably my most expensive game I own, even without the manual. Which MUST be at my parents' house somewhere), so I don't remember much. I do remember that you had a talking sword, and the battles took place in real time. I enjoyed this at the time. Recently, I've tried playing Star Ocean: First Departure on the PSP, and I am having trouble really getting into it. Regardless, this game was great. Don't remember a lick of the story. Another thing I DO remember was that you could find a special ring that allowed a second player to play with you. This limited the second person to combat only, but this was mind blowing for me. An RPG...that TWO PLAYERS COULD PLAY? With that said, I only really tried it like once. It didn't end up being as amazing as I was hoping. One day I'd like to play through this game again, and see how I still like it.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

BREATH OF FIRE III (PS1)

    Hey, here's another RPG! Another one that isn't always talked about, but I think it's great. This was the first Breath of Fire game I beat. It had some good characters, great graphics, it was pretty long, and it had a great dragon-fusing mechanic. You could find different dragon genes throughout the world, and these can be combined in like hundreds of different ways to make different and interesting dragons. What I remember most is that there is a LOT OF FIGHTING IN THIS GAME. It's like every three steps and you're in another random encounter. It gets very old, especially by the end of the game. Take out the ABSURD amount of random battles, and this game is a classic. Still, it's great and I suggest it. 

    This is going to be the last "Shane Remembers..." in 2014. Starting in 2015, I might tweak this Friday post formula. Stay tuned readers!

Shane Remembers... (12/12/2014)

 Enjoy some scary lame-ness!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

NIGHTMARE CREATURES (PS1)

    This was another game that my dad bought completely at random one day. This may have been the first violent game I ever really played. I think we even had this before Resident Evil. I enjoyed (and still enjoy, although it's certainly shown its age) this game quite a bit: it was full of great monsters (zombies (which come in TWO different colored jeans!), werewolves, big hulking Hulk-like brutes, uuh, other scary creatures. Straight from your nightmares!), had a cool Gothic look, you could choose between two characters, and it had some neat weapons. I played it recently (about three years ago), and holy potatoes, is it hard! Maybe it's just because I'm rusty, but I had a hell of time with level two. The controls are crappy, and it's tough to dodge incoming enemy attacks. What other game can you play as a character named Ignatius?

Picture courtesy of somewhereinthemidstofnowhere

ONE (PS1)

    Hey, yet ANOTHER game from my youth that my dad bought totally blind. This is an action game where you shoot bullets from your gun arm (I think. If I remember correctly?). The more damage you do to your enemies, the stronger your gun gets (I think. If I remember correctly?). It's a very arcade-y game. It's also hard as balls. I think it only has five or six levels, and I don't think as a kid I ever got past level two maybe (I think. If I remember correctly?). Decently fun run-and-gun kind of game. Pretty unknown for the PS1, but if you can find a copy, grab it. I'm pretty sure it is super duper, ultra luper cheap.

Picture courtesy of giantbomb

FAMILY FEUD (SNES)

    This one might seem like a wicked stupid entry to put here, but I disagree. Let me tell you why: firstly, it's a game I played as a child (err, teen I guess); secondly, this game is hella fun; thirdly, it's pretty damn funny. Okay, it's very lame to play a game based on a lame game show. But it's got Ray Combs as the host (or a pretty reasonable facsimile)! Anyway, I'm really rambling. I occasionally throw this game in for some good clean fun. It's like the gameshow, where it asks a question that was polled to 100 Americans, and you are supposed to provide the most logical answers. Typing answers with the SNES controller is great fun (read: NOT FUN AT ALL). Also, your answers better be EXACT! Example: if the correct answer is "house", "home" will not suffice. Also, if the answer is "cat", "cats" will not suffice. Even though, I think it's got a pretty large reserve of questions, and it is legitimately fun (if you're playing with another real person) to try and guess the right answers. And no matter what answer you give, your digitized family (you can choose from five or six preset families. I will say, there's some nice diversity. I also think one of the families has George Bush in it) will always yell, "good answer!" This can lead to high comedy. Finally, the fast money round at the end (I don't remember what it's called) is the most fun, as it is on the show. So, in summary: lame gameshow + Super Nintendo = sort of fun game (?).

Picture courtesy of gamefaqs

NFL QUARTERBACK CLUB (SNES)

    Speaking of lame-ass SNES games, here's a football game. Probably the first sports game I ever had. I distinctly remember getting this for my birthday. I played it a decent amount, but I was never a huge fan. I don't remember if this had a season mode. It may have. It had the players' names, which was nice. The big hook was its spotlight on the QB position. It told you the starting QB for all the teams (circa 1994-or-so). There was only one that mattered: Drew Bledsoe! 'Ol cement-shoes himself. The graphics were not great, and I always thought the colors, specifically, were pretty crappy. Generally, I would never go back and play old sports games. Probably the only genre where I DON'T want to play the older iterations (ESPN NFL 2K5 notwithstanding). I still have this game, and VERY occasionally take it out to play with friends. It's a hit at parties!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

THRASHER: SKATE & DESTROY (PS1)

    Aaah, skateboarding games. This was another demo disc game that I played a lot. I only played the actual game once I think (a rental). The skateboarding couldn't hold a candle (in my adolescent opinion) to Tony Hawk though. But, you were skateboarding in illegal areas, I think. I don't remember exactly how the game went, but you could be apprehended by a cop with a tazer (amazing that it's not a machine gun. Oops, sorry. I try to keep topical issues outta this blog). I think it even switched to the cop's POV when he got close. But that's not why this game is here. Nope, this game is here because of the most amazing thing that was ever implemented in video games: ragdoll physics! You can just crash and laugh your ass off at your horribly mangled body. Just crashing or falling in general was awesome. Boy, does that stuff look very painful. Why did we ever want to skateboard? Jeesh!


    Sorry if this entry isn't as strong as last week's. I feel that was the real high-point for this half-baked blog post idea. I also find it funny that in a weekly post called, "Shane Remembers...", the phrase I use the most is, "I don't remember..." (or some variation of that). Thanks for reading anyway!

Shane Remembers... (12/5/2014)

Happy birthday, ya old bastard!   

    Since the Playstation just turned 20, I'd thought I would celebrate by showcasing a random assortment of PS1 games I loved as a kid. The well of memories for my "Shane Remembers..." posts is starting to run dry (don't cry, though. It'll be okay). I suppose a guy with an AWFUL memory wiring specifically about stuff he remembers from 10-20 years ago was not my best idea. I'm cheating a little bit this week with at least one game that's on my official backlog. I still have enough content for at least three weeks, and I'm hoping to wrack my brain for more relevant stuff. Once I finally run out of stuff to remember, I'll think about altering what this weekly post is all about. But, we'll burn that bridge when we get there (then forgot that we got there and burned a bridge. As long as I don't have to write about it years in the future, I'll be good) 

Picture courtesy of retroboyadvance

MEDAL OF HONOR (PS1)

    I'm not, nor have I ever been a huge fan of first person shooters. But if there's one thing I dislike more than first person shooters, it's war games (or war movies. Or war TV shows. Or war books. War in general I find awfully icky). However, I LOVE this game (and most of the pre-PS3 ones). This very well may have been the first FPS I ever played. Back before they were all about jacking off all over your Internet friends while you mindlessly shoot people for an accumulative 555 hours without any kind of story. Ahem. Anyway, there was something very satisfying about killing Nazis. It wasn't gorey, but it still made you feel all patriotic inside. I especially LOVED those missions where you had to sneak around, disguised in German clothes. One suspicious move and your were toast. And you always needed your papers. God, I want to play this game right now. Throw Battlefield 4 out the window and track down a copy of the original Medal Of Honor, ya meatheads! 

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

 ARMY MEN 3D (PS1)

    Boy, for someone that just spent time complaining about hating war, I probably shouldn't have started off with two war-centric games. Anyway, this game is much less realistic and not at all serious like Medal Of Honor. You play as green army men, and you gotta take out the tan ones. I don't have the vivid memories of this one like I do with MoH, but I put many fun hours into this game. It had a fun story, but I'm pretty sure I was quite partial to the two-player death match sort of mode. It wasn't a traditional death match, and instead may have been a capture-the-flag deal, but I honestly don't remember. What I do remember is a bedroom-type level, and that was a favorite to play in. There were several sequels after this, but I'm not sure I played more than one or two of them. This one, and probably the immediate sequel, still stand out as fun games to me. 

Picture courtesy of gamefaqs

EXCALIBUR 2555 A.D. (PS1)

    This is a game that, as time goes on, I'm becoming more and more convinced only my dad and I have ever really played it. And for good reason. Let me take you back to the glory days of the Playstation. As I've expunged on before, we (basically) didn't have the internet. Again, this was probably 1996/1997. My dad would make it a habit to go to Toys 'R Us, once a week it seemed, and just buy a random PS1 game. Was it gonna be good? Was it gonna be horrendous? We couldn't know until it was purchased, brought home, and played. That's how I was exposed to games like this one, One, Nightmare Creatures, and Overblood (coming up soon!). This game stars a descendant of Merlin, I think. I give this game props for having a female (I think she's supposed to be a teenager too) lead. Even nowadays, it's pretty rare. Anywho, you go through thirteen-or-fourteen stages, with the simple goal of getting to the exit. There are puzzles to figure out, things to retrieve (aren't there ever with this game), and naturally, enemies to kill. Here's how a basic level goes in this game (not specific examples, necessarily, but a general gist):

1. Talk to someone
2. They have something you need (let's say, a keycard). In order to get it, they tell you something they need (and let's say, a medical kit)
3. Wander through the level. Encounter a locked door.
4.  Meet another NPC. He has the key to that door. But he needs booze
5. Wander around. Find the booze. 
6. Bring it back to the booze-needing NPC. Trade it for the key. Go through the locked door.
7. You find cheese
8. Find another NPC. He wants you to find his pet rat
9. Find yet another NPC that is blocking a doorway. In order for him to move, you need to bribe him with something
10. You find grog. Bring it to the guy blocking the doorway.
11. He moves, and inside you find a rat-hole.
12. Place the cheese down, the rat comes out. Hopefully you found a rat cage throughout the level
13. Catch the rat, and bring it back to his owner..
14. Monotonous stuff
15. Tedious stuff
16. Backtracking stuff
17. Monotonous stuff
18. Monotonous and tedious stuff
19. Boss fight
20. Backtracking tedium makes you question your very soul's essence
21. Eventually, you get the medical kit, trade it to the guy all the way back at the beginning, and then you can leave the level with the obtained keycard.

    Okay, I've taken some exaggerated liberties in my overlong example, but this game really is one GIGANTIC fetch quest. But, it holds a strong nostalgia within my heart, so I like it. I own it, and I plan on playing through it again some time. Final fun note: even though it's on Playstation, it uses a password system!

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

 OVERBLOOD (PS1)

    Told you it was coming up soon! Again, like Excalibur above, this was a game (I originally wrote, "guy". Kinda funny?) that my dad bought on a whim. Also like Excalibur, it's pretty primitive and does not come close to standing up to the test of time. However, I still like it. It probably stirs up more good emotion in me then Excalibur does. It's essentially a sci-fi adventure game. You wake up from a cryogenic sleep with no memory. The game tasks you with figuring out what the deal is with that. It relies on puzzles mostly, and there are very few instances of action (there are probably a dozen, or less, fights in the game). Graphics are bad, voice acting is bad, controls are bad, but it's still so good. A sequel even came out, but it was never released here in the states. I need to get my hands on a copy somehow.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

INTELLIGENT QUBE (PS1)

    Almost like the one that got away. I rented this game once, and every other time I ever played it was on a demo disc. Remember when Playstation magazines came with demo discs? God, that was the best part of getting those magazines. In retrospect, I really wish I had all my old demo discs. I played the hell out of this demo, and I thought it was an amazingly creative puzzle game. It's tough to find puzzle games I like, so this was a revelation. Of course, nowadays it's pretty pricey to find CIB (that's industry talk for "Correct Instance of Box"*). Why wouldn't it be? One day, I'll get this game complete. And I'll play it. Then I'll get frustrated because I can't beat level two. Then I'll put it away, never to be played again. Life is funny like that. Oh, what is this game about? Pushing colored blocks and making sure you don't get crushed/fall of the edge into the abyss. It definitely stares back hard in this game. Also, let me say how much I love the spelling of "cube" as "qube", making the initials of the game IQ! Genius!



    Thanks for reading another (hastily put-together) "Shane Remembers..." This one is probably my best yet, because these are all games I owned (besides the last one, of course), and I played them a lot. So I actually have some tangible memories of them, as opposed to games played for a total of 75 minutes. Check back next week for another great installment!


**Just kidding, it stands for, "Complete In Box". You're welcome

Shane Remembers... (11/28/2014)

Mostly Bugs Bunny!

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

BUGS BUNNY: LOST IN TIME (PS1)

    Hey, another game I used to always rent as a kid! Noticing a theme, here? My sister and I really enjoyed this game. In fact, I've been wanting to buy it recently, but I'm pretty sure, for a complete copy, it's pretty expensive. At any rate, even though the graphics aren't great, and I'm sure the gameplay doesn't hold up anymore (even back then I remember being irritated by the semi-crappy controls), it's still holds a special place in my heart. It had a large varieties of levels and environments, and there was a lot of stuff to try and find per level. Not the best game, but you could find way worse.

Picture courtesy of wikia

BUGS BUNNY: RABBIT RAMPAGE (SNES)

    See my opening sentence for the game above. I've been wanting to play this recently as well. Luckily, cart only this game is dirt cheap. I remember it being pretty hard too. It's a simple platformer with all the Looney Tunes characters. The graphics were pretty good. I don't think I ever made it very far in the game, but I always remember the snowy opening level. And when you boot the game up, Marvin the Martian says, "Boom" in his dumb voice. There is also the saloon level, which maybe was the level following the snow one. Again, I don't know how good this game is now, but it's still probably decent.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

BUGS BUNNY: BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT (NES)

    A rare NES game I actually remember playing the hell out of. I wonder if we owned this at one time, or I just rented it several times? I honestly don't remember much from it. You control Bugs, and you run through levels, and you...jump? Sure, why wouldn't Bugs jump? Why the hell did I play so many Bugs Bunny games? I don't ever remember being a huge Looney Tunes fan. But I did have a Bugs Bunny stuffed animal, so maybe I just really liked him? At any rate, I wouldn't mind playing this again, just for nostalgia's sake. 

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

TOY STORY (SNES)

    Okay, I don't think I can talk about any more Bugs Bunny games. But, staying on the cartoon theme, Toy Story is a movie I hold very near-and-dear to my heart. It came out nineteen years ago, so I was eight when it came out. I remember the game being tough. What licensed SNES game wasn't? I don't remember much beyond Woody being the main character. There are side-scrolling sections, and there is at least one section (maybe more?) where you have to drive the RC car around. I remember this being frustrating as hell. The graphics were good too.

Picture courtesy of gameoldies

SKULLMONKEYS (PS1)

    This is a bizarre game. VERY bizarre. It's a platformer that uses a claymation style animation throughout, and it really looks great. It's full of weird enemies and bosses. It really has to be played to understand how crazy it is. Check out a playthrough on Youtube or something! As is common for platformers, there's lots of stuff to collect, and lots of jumps to make. I'm pretty sure this game is pretty tough too. You guys love my descriptions of these games? My memory is so bad. Why did I decide this weekly post would be a good idea? Anyway, my copy doesn't fully work. It gets to a certain point in the game, probably half way through, and freezes. It's pretty disappointing, because I'd love to play this to completion. Anyway, if you can find a copy, get it!




    Sorry for the extreme lateness of this post. I promised last week that Thanksgiving wouldn't delay this post being put up on Friday. Eh, I was awfully wrong. Hopefully, I can still have a brand new one up on this Friday. Thanks for reading!

Shane Remembers... (11/21/2014)

Crappy handheld crappiness!

Picture courtesy of handheldmuseum

PAPERBOY 2 (TIGER HANDHELD)

    As far as I remember, this is the only Tiger handheld I had. And I loved it. I know they pumped out probably hundreds of these things, all with varying degrees of quality (and fun), but this one was simple enough to work. You rode your bike, avoided crazy hazards, and threw papers into mailboxes. I always thought that kid on the handheld looked like he was not having nearly the fun that the little electronic guy in the game was having. That's a LOT of newspapers. Anyway, I sucked at this game and couldn't beat maybe the second level. God, why was I so bad at video games?

Picture courtesy of mobygames

TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER (GB COLOR)

    This game, and most others I had for my Gameboy Color at the time, is the reason I grew up with such disdain for handhelds in general. This game is such garbage. In my naivety I was hoping it would SORT OF MAYBE replicate the PS1 experience. It absolutely did not. All I remember was there were half-pipe levels and there were like overhead skate park levels. I guess the graphics were decent enough, but I don't think there was a whole lot you could do. Nothing about the game was fun in the least. I had the second game as well, and while I remember it being slightly better, it still sucked. Thanks Tony!

Picture courtesy of gameoldies

WWF WRESTLEMANIA 2000 (GB COLOR)

    Exhibit B in my case against handhelds. Of course, you could take any console, and only show someone a handful of shitty games, and they could say, "well, this whole console sucks". But, this was what I had for my Color at the time. I was OBSESSED with the WWF in the late 90s, so I needed wrestling games. I had some great ones for the PS1, but when it was time to bring the experience handheld, well, let's just say they don't quite stack up. I remember wanting to like this game so very badly, but it's cryptic controls, bland graphics, and just generally un-fun gameplay killed it for me. It was a fairly bare bones game, if I remember correctly. I wish I had been exposed to some of the awesome RPGs that are available for the Gameboy Color back in the day, instead of crappy games like this. Oh well, I know better now. I AM an adult, after all!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

THE ORANGE BOX (specifically, Half-Life 2) (PS3)

    Were you expecting more handheld junk? Were you not expecting something from PS3 to land on these pages? Well, I wanted to keep this all focused on retro, but I don't have it set in stone. This was the second thing I ever bought for my new PS3 back in 2008 (the year I bought my PS3. I still have that same one too!). The first game I bought for it was Metal Gear Solid 4. Honestly, I could have mixed up the order in which these two were purchased. I hope no one holds that against me. At any rate, this is a pretty interesting little set of games here. I purchased it for Half-Life 2, so that's what I'm going to reminisce about. However, I will just say that this is worth it alone just for Portal. Anyway, Half-Life 2. Everyone loves it. It's hailed as the greatest FPS ever. Braces yourselves, people. I'm about to drop something major. Men, you might wanna sit down. Pregnant women should probably leave the room, for fear of upsetting the pregnancy. Okay, here goes nothing: I don't think Half-Life 2 is that great...

    ...anyone still here? Of course not! No one was here in the first place! Anyway, I don't think this game is anything special. I always considered it a chore to play it. It wasn't something that I looked to with great anticipation to play. It was more like, "well, I only have Half-Life 2 to play on my PS3, so I guess I'll play Half-Life 2". It's certainly not bad, but I don't understand the accolades it gets. It doesn't really hold up that well, I don't think. I probably just didn't play it at the right time. It just came off as, "eh, it's fine". Give me fucking Timesplitters any day of the week. Cortez will wipe the floor with Gordon, or whatever his crowbar-wielding ass is called, any day of the week.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

RUGRATS: SEARCH FOR REPTAR (PS1)

    I had the DAMNEDEST time trying to figure out the last game to put here. I wanted to stick with the handheld theme, but I couldn't come up with anything. I had very few handheld games growing up. So instead, here's a dumb Rugrats game! As a child growing up in the '90's, Nickoldeon was my jam. This show was one of my favorites. So naturally, you buy games of your favorite shows/movies. This one my sister and I enjoyed playing quite a bit. In fact, I look back on this game with such fondness that I would probably buy it again to replay it. You played as one of the little kids in a 3D world, and there were various missions to do, based I believe on episodes of the TV show. What I remember the most is the mini golf level. Oh, and the bad graphics. Still, it was fun exploring the Pickles' house, looking for missions. You know what? I AM gonna buy this game again (provided it isn't expensive. It's not THAT great)

    Thanks for checking out another rambling Friday post. Now, next week is Thanksgiving week. Does that mean I won't have a new "Shane Remembers..." post up? What am I, some lazy guy? Fully expect a new one up on Friday!

Also, the culprit was the dog all along

Shane Remembers... (11/14/2014)

Let's create some shit!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

WRECKING CREW (NES)

    I never got around to playing this interesting game until I was in high school. My best friend at the time David somehow got himself a NES (maybe it was his uncle's?), and this was one of the games. It's really the only one I remember playing on his NES actually. What I really enjoyed about it was the level editor (even though I was (and mostly likely still am) awful at using it). In general, I will gravitate towards games that have a level of customization, or especially level creation. Besides that, I remember this being a very fun little puzzle game. Hoorah for blue-mustachioed Mario!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

RPG MAKER (PS1)

    God, how I loved this game. I bought it back in the day, and like a complete blockhead asshole, I sold it. I don't even know why I loved it, considering it was complex as hell, and I barely did anything in it. I loved the idea of it: you could FULLY CREATE YOUR OWN RPG! Look how badass the cover makes this out to be! Amazeballs, right??? Well, it isn't quite that awesome, but for the PS1, it's astounding what they shoved into this game. Ignoring the fact that all the monster sprites are static, and are basically high-level NES/low-level SNES graphics, it was just mind-blowing that you could NAME the monsters, and assign them HIT POINTS! You could give them CUSTOM MAGIC SPELLS! Holy shit! Anyway, this game was nigh-incomprehensible to my child-like mind (well, teenage mind), and the instruction booklet was as thick as an 1950's era sci-fi novel. Still, I loved it, and I wish I had it. Even though to make a game that lasted ten hours, it would take probably 150. Still, CUSTOM MAGIC SPELLS!

Picture courtesy of giantbomb

TIMESPLITTERS (PS2)

    I'm going to say this here, to clear the air, for all the world** to know: the Timesplitters series is my favorite video game series of all time. Yup, I like it more than Zelda; more than Mario; more than Grand Theft Auto; and yes, even more than my dearly beloved Souls games. It's funny, because I rented to this game so long ago never having heard of it. Why did I rent it? Because the back of the box boasted about a LEVEL EDITOR! Bam! I was fucking sold (well, rented). Anyway, I got home and barely touched the level editor. I was too absorbed with the fun, but hard as hell story mode, and the amazingly addictive challenge mode. Let's not forget the FANTASTIC multiplayer. However, I didn't really dive into the multiplayer (no online bullshit here. All couch/split screen goodness) until the second game (which I'll probably use in another "Shane Remembers...", along with the third game). If you've never played these games, start here. Fuck a new Call of Duty game. Play this instead.

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

SIM THEME PARK (PS1)

    When I started out writing this blog post, I had no theme in mind. After I finished the Wrecking Crew anecdote above, I decided I'd go with a "creation" theme. And what better creation series is there than The Sims? And while this isn't a normal Sims game, I love it dearly. This one I played a lot when I was younger. Setting up the park, researching new rides, trying to build a sweet roller coaster, fixing up broken rides, all that fun stuff that comes with owning a theme park are included here. I was never great at the game, but always good enough to unlock the next themed area. I like the Halloween area a lot (the second area, I believe?). Obviously this game is dated as hell now (that first person, walk-through-the-crowd mode thing? Yuck), but I still find immeasurable pleasure playing it!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

 TONY HAWK'S UNDERGROUND (PS2)

    My god, did I love this game growing up. I liked all the Tony Hawk games, but this one was the best for me. Especially that first foundry level. Ah, the memories. I currently don't own this game, but that might have to change very soon. At any rate, in keeping with the theme of "customization" for this week, this game had a great "create-a-park" feature. You could also create your own character for the story mode. I honestly can't remember much about the skate park creation tool, but I know it gives you a huge amount of variety and freedom. I always liked making small empty pools. Like, make them as tiny as possible, so you could barely even skate around in them. I was hardly an architect, so the designs of them were pretty ghastly. But hell, it was great fun. I wish I could spend the rest of my lunch (51 minutes and counting...) playing Tony Hawk's Underground. 

Thanks for tuning in to another special episode of this dumb blog post. Check back next Friday, where I may or may not reveal who the real culprit is. 

**the three of you who will read this

Shane Remembers... (11/7/2014)

Dinosaurs and stuff!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

GOOF TROOP (SNES)

    I was recently (well, two weeks ago now) talking about this game with my friend Max. I had totally forgotten about it until he mentioned it to me in passing. This was one that I remember renting at least a few times, despite the fact that I never was a big fan of either Disney, Goofy, or any of his dumb relatives. Even now, I barely remember anything from it. I know you start on a beach, or near a beach. I distinctly remember digging holes (what was I digging for? I'll be damned if I know now, or even if I knew then). I also remember a hook-shot kind of thing that you could use. Almost like a cutesy, Disney Zelda game, or something. Other than hook-shots and hole digging, I got nothing else to reminisce on about this game.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

MARIO PAINT (SNES)

    My friend David and I always used to play this game whenever he slept over my house. We never really played it seriously (how the hell does anyone play this game seriously?), we usually just fucked around. One fun thing for us to do was to take turns making the silliest/dumbest/most messed up things our teenage minds could conjure up. Mostly, it was painting that mermaid picture so it looked like the mermaid was topless (and we added nipples for a nice touch). Also, I remember playing that annoying bug swatting game. Fun, but I could never beat it. Also, did one of those bugs say, "back-biter" when you smooshed him? Finally, I LOVE all the music in this game!

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

 

ESPN NFL 2K5 (PS2)

    Never mind the Xbox logo with the stock image of the game cover I grabbed from wikipedia. This game was a favorite of mine on my beloved PS2. At the time this came out, video games were $50 a pop (ah, the good ol days!). This game came out, brand new, at $20. This is still one of the most ingenious, and frankly, shocking, marketing ideas I've personally ever seen in video gaming. And this wasn't some shovelware garbage. It had both ESPN and NFL on the cover (both pretty unreliable and just untrustworthy nowadays). This game should have been the Madden killer. In the end, it wasn't, but it's still remembered as maybe the best football game ever. I recently purchased this one again (for $2 I think), and I fully intend on playing at some point. Besides the on-the-field action (which, I contest, was better than Madden's at the time. Also, you could play in first person! Overall, pretty gimmicky, but still very interesting), you could deck out a crib with stuff you unlocked. They also had a huge amount of trophies (before Sony decided to use trophies) you could get. God, this game fucking rocked. The only drawback? Terrell Owens on the cover. Ugh

Picture courtesy of vintagecomputing

 

SCORCHED EARTH (PC? I GUESS)

    Another game my friend David and I used to play the hell out of whenever I slept over his house. I don't know the exact platform to call this, because it was so long ago, during a time when I barely knew what a "platform" was. I've read online the platform is Dos, but I'm gonna make it easier and call it PC. Hell, I played it on a PC, so that's good enough. As for the game, I mean, it's classic. Your a little tank. Try to kill the other little tanks with a variety of weapons. He and I would take turns playing (up in his parents' room, where the computer was at the time). I've since played this game a few times for nostalgia's sake. Still pretty fun. I think it's free to play online (maybe even on phones now?), so check it out!

Picture courtesy of archimage

3-D DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (PC)

    My god, this game! This was basically my FAVORITE game to play as a young lad. It was an educational game, but man, it had dinosaurs! And many different activities to do. You could wear those paper cheapo 3-D glasses (with the blue lens and red lens) and see some dinosaurs jumping out atch'a! I remember you could go through the various eras of dinosaurs (Jurassic era, um, I don't remember the others...), and see/learn about them. There were games as well, I believe. There was actually some cheesy first person segment that I remember I could never fully beat. I've wanted to play this again for a long, long time. I would absolutely sit down and play this game again, right now, no questions asked. Anyway, if you have Windows 95, try to find this beauty (if you love dinosaurs. And you'd better!). I'm sure it can be played on any computer nowadays, but I'm going to have to research more. 

    I hope you've all enjoyed this third trip down memory lane. A pretty good amount of variety (TWO PC games???), and I think each one is maybe a little more interesting to read about than some of my previous efforts. See you next Friday!

Shane Remembers... (10/31/2014)

Halloweeny!

 

 

 

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

    

RESIDENT EVIL: SURVIVOR (PLAYSTATION)

    Another game my dad and I rented back in the day (in those days, we were both fairly obsessed with anything Resident Evil). This “my dad and I rented a game together” story ends much better (and more heart-warming!) than the Riven one from last week. This was a Saturday or Sunday, and maybe it was even rainy out, and my sister and mom were out. So, being the video game guys we were, we sat down and took turns playing through Survivor. We beat it in a few hours, in one sitting. Still probably the only time I sat down and beat a game in one sitting (minus super-short SNES games that take 30-40 minutes). I don’t remember much from the gameplay (ha, what else is new. Hopefully you guys don’t get sick of that phrase!), but it’s a great memory I have of playing a cool game with my dad.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

    

MONSTER PARTY (NES)

    Maybe I lied a little bit when I talked about The Three Stooges being one of three games I remember playing for NES. Besides Duck Hunt (but not really Super Mario Bros., oddly), I absolutely remember playing this game. I’m almost certain we owned it, or at the very least I rented it. I only remember playing the first level, and when it turns to that “evil, blood-soaked” kind-of area, I remember that it freaked me out (I’m cautious to actually say it scared me. Can an 8-bit NES game really scare someone?). Those damn upside-down yellow legs and those weird dogs with the humanoid faces. Heeby-jeeby city! The whole game is right up my alley too (a game full of monsters!). I recently played it briefly on an emulator, and it was hard as hell. Gotta get my hands on a cart to play it authentically. 

Picture courtesy of game oldies

   

THE ADVENTURES OF DOCTOR FRANKEN (SNES)

    I totally forgot this game existed until a few years ago when I saw it featured on a Frankenstein-themed episode of Angry Video Game Nerd a few years ago. I was taken aback when I heard the Nerd say how much this game sucked. I always remember enjoying it as a wee lad (again, a game I rented a few times at least). The graphics were pretty cool, and Frankie there looked great (or so I thought. I mean, look how cool he is up there!). I remember liking the backgrounds and enemies, I think? Unfortunately, I remember very little of the actual game or gameplay. Maybe one day I gotta play this again.

Picture courtesy of amazon

    

ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS (SNES)

    Okay, this one is cheating a little bit, because I still own this game and play it often (at least relative to all these other games). But how can I talk about Halloween/monster games and mention this one? I LOVE this game. I have ever since I played it as a young child. It appealed to me perfectly: all the cool, classic monsters (which was, and still is, a huge draw for me), the easy-to-learn gameplay, all the goddamn levels (so many!). I'm ashamed to say I have yet to actually beat this game, try as though I might in the last seventeen-or-so years. I remeber always getting to the levels in the 30's, and it would be a mad dash to try and find the one neighbor (because at this point, I only have one left alive). So I'm pretty unfamilair with the later levels, simply because I had to race through them like a maniac to find the neighbor. One day, I will sit down, and I will beat this game. While I don't have this included in my official backlog, if I can successfully beat it, I'll probably write a post about the ordeal. Final note: amazing two player game!

Picture courtesy of giantbomb

 

VIRTUAL BART (SNES)

    Okay, I'm also cheating on this one a little bit too. This isn't a Halloween themed kind of game. But gosh, it is so very difficult for me to think back and remember any others, besides what I've already listed here. Maybe I just didn't play many in my formative years? At any rate, I've included Virtual Bart here because while it may not be a Halloween game, it still gave me nightmares. Why? Well, mainly because I would always rent it, but never be able to beat it. In fact, I don't think I could really beat any of the individual sections. It was (and still is) the same with Bart's Nightmare. I'm woefully bad at both those games. This one though, I distinctly remember the tomato throwing sections, the Mad Max bike-riding section, and I wanna say a section where you have to navigate through a water tube without running into a stuck Homer. Overall, I think I like this game more than Bart's Nightmare, but neither are amazing. 

    Thanks for checking out this (mostly) Halloween-themed installment of "Shane Remembers...". Tune in next week for another amazingly awesome post (I actually already have it written, and it's scheduled to post! Easy week for me)

 

Shane Remembers... (10/24/2014)

Let's race!

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

 

NEED FOR SPEED II (PLAYSTATION)

    Around the time that Need for Speed III: Hot Pursuit came out, my old friend David and I were not really into racing games. But, for whatever reason, we loved Hot Pursuit (author's note: I can totally tell you the reason I loved it: it had cops that chased you. That was the reason I loved it). I remember one day I was over his house, and he had either rented or owned Need for Speed II, so we played it. There are two things I recall about the game: the first was that it was shitty. I couldn't even tell you why, really. It just sucked. The second, and much more about thing about it was the cheat codes. You could input codes to replace your current car with any number of crazy things. The two that pop into mind was a big logging truck and a T-Rex. Who wouldn't want to race down the street in a huge T-Rex? I know there were probably twenty or so more (we had some old video game magazine that had all the codes in it. Aah, the good ol' days, when cheat codes and magazines actually meant something. But, if you don't have an old video game mag, HERE is a list of those codes). That afternoon (I think it was a rainy afternoon, for those curious) was the only time we played that game, and that fucking T-Rex still sticks out to this day.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

THE THREE STOOGES (NES)

    This is probably the only time in written video game history that this dumb game gets mentioned in the same sentence as The Legend of Zelda, and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Why would a Three Stooges game get mentioned with two classics? Well, as far as I remember, this game is one of only three (those two Zeldas are the other two. Duh!) games I remember actively playing on our NES when I was a kid. I know we must have had more games, but I don't remember them. Right as I was turning old enough to fully understand what video games were all about, my family got the Super Nintendo, and I don't even think we kept our NES, quite honestly. Many of my gaming memories start with the SNES, but I have a few from its predecessor. Unfortunately, The Three Stooges is part of that memory pool. Hell, my parents still have this game, and my mom wouldn't even let me have it when I recently started (then stopped) trying to collect NES. At any rate, I only really remember the pie-throwing part and that annoying oyster-cracker part. I could never get those bastards. Hey, this game's got real staying power apparently!

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

RIVEN: THE SEQUEL TO MYST (PLAYSTATION)

    My dad and I rented this game some time again, knowing absolutely nothing at all about it. Or even Myst in general. Maybe I had heard of it? Who knows (again, those pre-internet days!). I remember it had AMAZING graphics (still does, really). Otherwise, I'm pretty sure my dad and I played it for about ten minutes, said, "this game sucks", returned it, and never bothered playing any Myst game again. As it turns out, I'm interested in playing them now, so hopefully one day I'll get to. Certainly didn't make a good impression with teen-me. 

Picture courtesy of GAMEFAQS

TOM AND JERRY (SNES)

    I don't necessarily remember being a huge fan of this cartoon as a kid. But, back then, that's just how you played video games: you went to the video store (my local one was Video Update), and you rented whatever looked cool/interesting to you. If it sucked, well that was too bad. Live and learn, better luck next time, all that jazz. I remember the factory-like level, the junkyard level, and some level where Tom is gigantic and he tries to crush you (he's behind some boxes I believe). This was one that I know I rented several times, yet I don't think I ever got very far. I think that happened a lot as a kid. I sucked at games (now I'm a n00b-slaying pro*).

Picture courtesy of Coolrom

SUPER COLUMNS (SEGA GAMEGEAR)

    We had a Sega Gamegear. I have no idea why. We never owned any other Sega console. We were always Nintendo (until Sony came along and released the immaculate Playstation). I also remember we only ever had three games for the Gamegear. We had some Spiderman game, some Sonic game, and this gem (no pun intended). I fondly remember laying on the couch, holding that gargantuan beast (while it was plugged in, no less!), and playing this game. This was the only game that ever got played at the house. Even though I played it a lot, I still really sucked at it. But, it was very fun, and that's all that matters. I've recently inquired about the whereabouts to that Gamegear, but unfortunately I don't think it's survived the sands of time.

    There it is everyone. The (very) late first installment of Shane Remembers! Look for them weekly, every Friday. 

*absolutely false. I still suck