Crappy handheld crappiness!
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| Picture courtesy of handheldmuseum |
PAPERBOY 2 (TIGER HANDHELD)
As far as I remember, this is the only Tiger handheld I had. And I loved it. I know they pumped out probably hundreds of these things, all with varying degrees of quality (and fun), but this one was simple enough to work. You rode your bike, avoided crazy hazards, and threw papers into mailboxes. I always thought that kid on the handheld looked like he was not having nearly the fun that the little electronic guy in the game was having. That's a LOT of newspapers. Anyway, I sucked at this game and couldn't beat maybe the second level. God, why was I so bad at video games? |
| Picture courtesy of mobygames |
TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER (GB COLOR)
This game, and most others I had for my Gameboy Color at the time, is the reason I grew up with such disdain for handhelds in general. This game is such garbage. In my naivety I was hoping it would SORT OF MAYBE replicate the PS1 experience. It absolutely did not. All I remember was there were half-pipe levels and there were like overhead skate park levels. I guess the graphics were decent enough, but I don't think there was a whole lot you could do. Nothing about the game was fun in the least. I had the second game as well, and while I remember it being slightly better, it still sucked. Thanks Tony!
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| Picture courtesy of gameoldies |
WWF WRESTLEMANIA 2000 (GB COLOR)
Exhibit B in my case against handhelds. Of course, you could take any console, and only show someone a handful of shitty games, and they could say, "well, this whole console sucks". But, this was what I had for my Color at the time. I was OBSESSED with the WWF in the late 90s, so I needed wrestling games. I had some great ones for the PS1, but when it was time to bring the experience handheld, well, let's just say they don't quite stack up. I remember wanting to like this game so very badly, but it's cryptic controls, bland graphics, and just generally un-fun gameplay killed it for me. It was a fairly bare bones game, if I remember correctly. I wish I had been exposed to some of the awesome RPGs that are available for the Gameboy Color back in the day, instead of crappy games like this. Oh well, I know better now. I AM an adult, after all!
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| Picture courtesy of wikipedia |
THE ORANGE BOX (specifically, Half-Life 2) (PS3)
Were you expecting more handheld junk? Were you not expecting something from PS3 to land on these pages? Well, I wanted to keep this all focused on retro, but I don't have it set in stone. This was the second thing I ever bought for my new PS3 back in 2008 (the year I bought my PS3. I still have that same one too!). The first game I bought for it was Metal Gear Solid 4. Honestly, I could have mixed up the order in which these two were purchased. I hope no one holds that against me. At any rate, this is a pretty interesting little set of games here. I purchased it for Half-Life 2, so that's what I'm going to reminisce about. However, I will just say that this is worth it alone just for Portal. Anyway, Half-Life 2. Everyone loves it. It's hailed as the greatest FPS ever. Braces yourselves, people. I'm about to drop something major. Men, you might wanna sit down. Pregnant women should probably leave the room, for fear of upsetting the pregnancy. Okay, here goes nothing: I don't think Half-Life 2 is that great...
...anyone still here? Of course not! No one was here in the first place! Anyway, I don't think this game is anything special. I always considered it a chore to play it. It wasn't something that I looked to with great anticipation to play. It was more like, "well, I only have Half-Life 2 to play on my PS3, so I guess I'll play Half-Life 2". It's certainly not bad, but I don't understand the accolades it gets. It doesn't really hold up that well, I don't think. I probably just didn't play it at the right time. It just came off as, "eh, it's fine". Give me fucking Timesplitters any day of the week. Cortez will wipe the floor with Gordon, or whatever his crowbar-wielding ass is called, any day of the week.
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| Picture courtesy of wikipedia |
RUGRATS: SEARCH FOR REPTAR (PS1)
I had the DAMNEDEST time trying to figure out the last game to put here. I wanted to stick with the handheld theme, but I couldn't come up with anything. I had very few handheld games growing up. So instead, here's a dumb Rugrats game! As a child growing up in the '90's, Nickoldeon was my jam. This show was one of my favorites. So naturally, you buy games of your favorite shows/movies. This one my sister and I enjoyed playing quite a bit. In fact, I look back on this game with such fondness that I would probably buy it again to replay it. You played as one of the little kids in a 3D world, and there were various missions to do, based I believe on episodes of the TV show. What I remember the most is the mini golf level. Oh, and the bad graphics. Still, it was fun exploring the Pickles' house, looking for missions. You know what? I AM gonna buy this game again (provided it isn't expensive. It's not THAT great)
Thanks for checking out another rambling Friday post. Now, next week is Thanksgiving week. Does that mean I won't have a new "Shane Remembers..." post up? What am I, some lazy guy? Fully expect a new one up on Friday!
Also, the culprit was the dog all along
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