B-LOG SLAYING: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (SNES)

Why do we have to play as teenagers?

    Here we are, ladies and gents. We are FINALLY into the "Retro Saga" (name pending) section of my backlog. As much as I love current gen games, I love retro just as much (in many cases, more). I'm hardly a historian of old games, but I have a decent amount of random knowledge, and I can get by in conversations with many people about many various game systems. However, your wealth of knowledge doesn't make you a lover of video games (or a, "gamer". Do people not like this moniker? I don't get the hate). Your love of video games makes you a lover of video games. Pretty damn simple, huh? I am specifically targeting a few games on my SNES list to get through. Namely, these are the very short games that can be beaten in one or two sittings. I actually started with Final Fight last night, but my cart was acting wonky, and I couldn't play it. Hopefully a good clean will get the job done. So I went to my back up, and a game (and television show) I used to enjoy very much as a kid: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. 

Probably shoulda cropped this (sung to "Go, go, Power Rangers")

    This was a game I rented as a kid, but I didn't really remember anything about it. I new it was a beat 'em up, and I remember enjoying it as a kid. My memories of it begin and end there. But, how could something I loved as a kid be shitty as an adult? As this is a very simple, short, game, my cons and pros list will be pretty short. I'll still break it up into what I liked and didn't like, but I will do a (very) brief overview of the levels as well (since there are essentially only five). Also, for the boss pictures, I found it easiest to pause the game to take a picture. However, the word "PAUSE" appears on the screen, and it just looks ugly for the pictures. I cropped all the boss pictures to just show them. It's a little different, but it's better than the big ugly pause screen. Let's do this shit.   

CONS:

• Very short
• Boring enemies

 

PROS:

• Good (if repetitive) gameplay
• Various platforming sections add variety to the beat 'em up formula
• Fun, challenging boss fights

    Let's just jump right in. First of all, this game is HELLA short! I beat it in three sittings, and that took just over two hours. Definitely a game you could just sit down and beat in one sitting. I mean, games like this are generally pretty short anyway, but I feel like with the Power Rangers' gallery of monsters, they could have made a few more levels and added some more monsters. I'm not sure there is a whole lot more I could really say about this. It's a two hour game, but it could be a three-or-four-hour game without much effort.
    Let's quickly talk about the enemies. Did you ever watch the show? Do you remember the clay guys they fight? The Putty Patrol? Yeah, well that is 99% of the enemies you encounter. Like the Foot Clan from Turtles In Time, they come in a variety of different colors and have various weaponry. There are grey, green, red, purple, brown, and some other shades of those colors. They brandish all sorts of weapons, including (but not limited to, because I don't have an elephant's memory here!) knives (including the throwing variety) swords, guns, and other stuff. I don't remember exactly. But the point is, they are the ONLY enemies you fight, except for a few miscellaneous robots and sentries and turrets and things like that. I suppose that was all they fought on the show (besides the big bosses), but even so, it makes for some boring-ass enemies.

    Phew! Got over those awful, intricate cons. Like I said, this game isn't a large, complex offering like most of what I've played and documented thus far. It's just a good ol' fashioned beat 'em up. Let's celebrate the positives!

    This is classic beat 'em up gameplay, and it's pretty good for what it is. You can choose between the five main characters from the show (unfortunately, no Tommy or Green/White Ranger), Trini, Billy, Kimberly, Zack, and Jason (or, the yellow, blue, pink, black, and red rangers, respectively). I only played the game as Trini, but I assume everyone plays about the same. Besides the fact that she looks strikingly like April O'Neil from the aforementioned Turtles in Time before she transforms in a Ranger, she's ordinary. She can punch, jump, do a jump attack, and she can duck (and also attack while ducking). The levels all follow a formula: you play the first part as the regular teen kid (wooh! So fun!), then the boss of the level shows up briefly, and throws some enemies at you.

Boring old April Trini O'Neil

A MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGER!

 It's here that you transform into a Power Ranger, and play the rest of the level like this. You have the same attacks as a Ranger, but you use that Ranger's signature weapon to attack, instead of fists. This gives you a boosted range, and maybe even makes you a little stronger (I have no idea about that. Would make sense though)? But, as a Ranger you get a bomb you can use. This wipes out all the enemies on screen, or severely damages a boss. You only get one, but if you use one during a level, I think they can get replenished. I only used them on bosses, so I'm not sure. At any rate, all of the fighting feels good, and it's fun. It does get repetitive, but that's more a problem with the genre, and not the game itself.
    To break up the sometimes monotonous fighting, each level (they are called "areas" in this game) has some sort of platforming sections. There's climbing in an industrial-like area, swimming through a cave (note: the swimming part actually isn't horrendous), avoiding a giant laser, and the game basically turning into a fighting game for the last two areas, among other things. It's nice to have a beat 'em up that isn't straight beat 'em up. The formula can get stale, but these small non-fighting sections are great to break everything up.
    Okay, the last thing to discuss is the boss fights. They are the exact opposite of the boring regular enemies. They are all interesting, very varied, and decently difficult (make no mistake, this is not a terribly difficult game). I'll talk about them and the levels briefly together here! Let's get 'er dun! (*kills self*)

 BONES:

He's got a fabulous cape, hat, and sword

    The first level you fight through is a park like area. Once you get to the end, you fight this lovely chap. His name is apparently Bones (I had to look up the names on Wikipedia. I haven't watched this show in a loooong time, and I remember NOTHING from it. Don't hate me guys). He has a sword, and he uses it to swing at you, and to shoot a small sonic wave along the floor at you. After you hit him enough, he explodes. His bones recollect to form a slightly new form. He loses his arms and cape. He jumps around the room, shooting fireballs. Again, hit him enough, and he explodes yet again, only for his head to continue to float around, shooting fireballs still. He'll eventually go down.

GNARLY GNOME:

Because all gnomes (Vikings?) carry rakes

 
    Can you guys even STAND how gnarly this gnome is? I mean, in all my years of looking at gnomes, this squat bastard with the ineffective-looking rake is for sure the gnarliest of them all. Ugh. Anyway, this guy is pretty easy, but he can be annoying. You fight him in a room with lots of platforms, and he likes to disappear from one and reappear on another. He can shoot a projectile, or hit you at close range. I think he has another attack (where he takes out an accordion?), but I was able to hit him before he used it. So who knows? After you smack this clown around for a while, he'll start teleporting very quickly, and he can be tough to attack, because he's very random. But after you hit him some more, he'll die.

EYE GUY:

Eye see you!

    
     This is my favorite-looking boss of the game. What can I say, I'm a sucker for eyeball monsters. This guy can be a bit tough, but he's manageable. He'll throw an endless amount of eyeballs (or Cheerios) at you. He can also jump up and try to smoosh you. He can also shoot a large blue laser from his main eye. He can do this standing or kneeling, so you have to pay attention and either duck or jump over the laser. This is the toughest part of the battle, because he will shoot a few in succession, and he'll randomly switch between standing and kneeling. After you smack him enough, he'll lose most of his eyeballs.

I feel like so many 16-bit games have eyeball bosses like this

    He'll float around like this and shoot laser balls at you. At this point, he's quite easy. Just jump and hit him enough, and he'll die. Badda bing, badda boom.

GENIE:

Dog genie?

    This guy is pretty annoying too. You fight him on top of the construction-sort of building of stage four. His real gimmick is that he has like a million attacks. He'll float four daggers that sort of home in on you. These I found to be fairly difficult to dodge. He'll throw out two saucers that will shoot energy down. These are very easy to dodge. He'll summon fireballs at the top of the screen, and they fall down. Again, very easy, just stand in between them. Finally, he'll summon three electric skeleton eels (??) from one side of the screen, and they each fly at you. The only one I found tough to dodge was the daggers one, as I mentioned. Everything else is very easy. He also teleports around, but overall he's not terribly difficult.

DARK WARRIOR:

This guy loves the color green

    Here we have the final proper boss. He is decently tough, but if you pay attention and stay moving, he's not too bad. He'll throw a smoke bomb and disappear into it, only to reappear near you. He likes to jump around a lot. He'll jump and pause in mid-air and throw a bomb directly below him. This I had a tough time dodging at first, but I learned to be more patient and alert. Otherwise, he'll swing his sword, or dash at you with it. After you hit him for a while, he'll put his sword away and take out a chain whip. This he can swing around and hit you with. He can apparently switch between this weapon and the sword until you defeat him. Once you start to understand how he moves, and realize how much he teleports, he's not very difficult. Only took me two tries.

MUTITIS:

This is what I'm talking about!

    After you beat the Dark Warrior, you are treated to a (long) cutscene of all the Rangers forming into the giant robot (I had to look up the name, the Megazord, because, again, I'm not eight anymore). The final two areas of the game are just boss battles. But the game is essentially a giant robot/monster fighting game now, and it's pretty fun. I really appreciate these final battles. They add some nice flavor to the overall game. And they are pretty fun.
    You will notice that the boss actually gets a health bar. As an aside, I HATE when bosses don't have health bars. Another discussion for another time, however. You can swing your sword as your main attack. He has some claws he can attack you with. You also have a power meter, and it gradually fills up over time. This allows you to use a number of special (projectile) attacks. The more the meter fills, the more powerful the new attack you get is. I was able to hit this clown with a fully-metered attack, and it took about 75% of his health away, so this battle was very easy. Be aware, I believe the boss can do the same. Once you use your power, the meter empties, and it has to be refilled again. It's an interesting mechanic, and I enjoy it quite a bit. Anyway, beat this big doofus, and you're onto area 7, and the final boss.

CYCLOPSIS:

The "final" showdown (don't mind that empty whisky glass)

    This is it: the final big bad monster guy. This battle starts off the same as the previous one. I can't possibly back this up with concrete facts, but this guy jumps and avoids your powerful attacks fairly frequently. Several times I had a full power meter, and I used it, only to watch the boss hop effortlessly over it. Ugh. Anyway, there isn't a whole lot to say about this. Whale on him until he has no more health! Wooh! You just beat Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! Don't you feel...
    Oh wait a second. Now just hold on... Oh no, the boss...he's not dead! *gasp*

Enjoy that golden dong

     Yup, this boss has two forms. Once you finish his first form, he turns gold and gets ALL HIS HEALTH BACK. So, hopefully you didn't take too much damage in the first part of the battle, because your health most certainly does not come back. Otherwise, he's similar to his first form. He's more aggressive I think (in general, this boss is more aggressive than Mutitis), and his power attacks can hit very hard. Also, I should mention, apparently both the bosses and your Megazord can block? Huh, who knew? Certainly not me, because I didn't fucking block once during any of these three battles. Oh well. Overall, he's not super hard, but probably still the toughest boss in the game (as he should be). Once you beat him, he dies for good. You get some silly ending, and that's that.


    And that's Mighty Morphin Power Rangers for you. I was pleasantly surprised with how much fun this game was. I hadn't played it since I rented it, probably close to twenty years ago. I remembered liking it back then, and I must say, it still holds up. I'm not sure if this is gonna be retro heresy, but I like it a HELL of a lot more than Final Fight, that's for sure. It's got interesting bosses, good gameplay, and some nice variety. I didn't mention it above, but the music is okay. It's not awful, but not amazing. Despite the short length and the boring enemy types, I would suggest this to all beat 'em up/Power Rangers fans.

I FIN'd the shit out of this game!