B-LOG SLAYING: Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

Portable Mario! And he wears cute bunny ears!

 

    What is there to say about Mario as a character, and the Super Mario Bros franchise as a whole, that hasn't been said a million times over during the past 30-odd years? Me, being the barely-coherent clown that I am, certainly couldn't provide anything wholly unique as far as praising Mario for him basically resurrecting the video game market, but I can at least talk about a lesser-known handheld game that he starred in! That game is, of course, Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins. I have had a very vague knowledge of the game for a while, but recently I decided I wanted to play it. Truthfully I've been dying to play a Mario game for some time now, and this one has satiated that need for the most part. I ordered it from Amazon with a Christmas (remember that holiday?) gift card. I'm pretty sure I started playing it the day it arrived in the mail. On the whole, over four-or-five sittings, it took a little over three hours.

Probably the best enemy in Mario history

    With Mario, you basically know what you're getting. Especially on a handheld console, and one so "primitive" (I mean no disrespect) as the original Gameboy. What we have here is a short, concise, fun, Mario game that spans six worlds with dozens of levels. You can essentially tackle the worlds in any order you want, so you get a certain amount of freedom from the beginning. Each world holds a certain number of typical Mario-style platform levels. Each world has a boss at the end, and each boss surrenders a coin upon defeat. These would be the eponymous six golden coins. Once you acquire all six, a door to Wario's Castle opens up, and you can go through his bullshit area and fight him.
    There are some secret areas/levels as well, but I didn't try to hard to find them. But at some point down the road I'll try for a more complete playthrough. With ALL that being said, what are the cons and pros of this game? Let's find it!

CONS:

• It's most likely from the limitations of the hardware, but the game world is sparse and empty-feeling. There also doesn't seem to be enough levels
• The game, on the whole, is pretty damn easy. The exception? Wario's Castle. Unless I just suck that damn bad. I didn't enjoy that difficulty spike at the very end.  
• The penalty for a game over (having to beat all six bosses to gain the six golden coins again) seems pretty harsh

PROS:

• Despite the more-simplified gameplay, this game is still great fun. Classic Mario with a few new wrinkles thrown in
• I appreciate the few new ideas they throw in (the bunny power-up; 100 coins NOT giving you a 1-up; even 1-ups themselves aren't mushrooms, but hearts!)
• Short and sweet

    Probably my biggest complaint with the game is that it's just so empty. I know, I know, it came out for the original Gameboy in the early 90's. I don't consider this a game-breaking complaint by any means, but it makes the game feel hollow. Let me elaborate a bit. There are six worlds, as I've said, and each world has anywhere from 2-5 (or 6) levels. How the hell could a Mario game have a world with only TWO LEVELS? That's the Space Zone (in truth, I believe it has a secret level as well). This makes the Space Zone seem incredibly rushed and afterthought-y. It's disappointing, because the Space Zone is probably the most interesting, considering you jump around in a low gravity area. Pretty cool really. Most of the worlds don't feel fleshed out, or BIG enough though.

And you get deprived of Mario in his space suit!

    On the whole, this game is pretty easy. Over a few sittings, or took me a little over three hours to beat. I'm fairly confident that I could sit down now and play through it in 90 minutes, or so. This is mostly because the game is pretty easy. However, once you open up the door to Wario's Castle, shit gets real, real fast. Firstly, the Castle is decently long, with several different, distinct sections. Again, I could probably get through it easily enough now, now that I have a good knowledge of it. For my first playthrough, it was rough. There's tough, timed jumps, difficult-to-dodge obstacles, a few semi-annoying "mini bosses" (hardly. More like just tougher normal enemies), but mostly it's just long and nerve-wracking. Now, this may all just be coming from me. Maybe I just suck at this game so much that the final level seemed tough. At any rate, Wario's Castle is where I encountered my first (and thankfully only) game over. Hey, what a great segue! 

    Game overs are generally pretty harsh mistresses. And why should they not be? The game over is a gamer's ultimate nightmare. Usually. To get a game over in this game means having to beat ALL SIX BOSSES again. Yup, when you run out of lives, you see Wario's door to his Castle, and you watch helplessly as all six of those golden coins fly up in the air, and back to their respective bosses. I had figured that a game over would mean I started back at the beginning of the Castle, with three lives and no (normal) coins. Nope. I had to go through six levels and beat six bosses again. Suffice to say, I made damn sure I wasn't so reckless with my lives. The whole process seems pretty harsh for such an easy, light game. Oh well, that's what I get for playing like an asshole. Oh, and the game autosaves, so don't even think about just shutting the Gameboy off if you lose all your lives. 

    Cons? Done! Now onto pros! 

    It's hard to fuck up a Mario game. Even with this limited hard/software, this is still pretty classic Mario fun. It's no Super Mario Bros 3 or Super Mario World (or Yoshi's Island. My personal favorite Mario). The levels are constructed with lots of platforming, lots of enemies/obstacles to kill/destroy, and just generally lots of that classic action. The controls are pretty standard and they feel pretty good. I played this on my Gameboy Advance SP because I can't stand playing anything on my Gameboy Color. It looks like shit and it hurts my neck/head to play. Playing it on the GBA SP gives you some extra color as well, which is nice. The point is it felt good to play on the SP. I wish I could say more of the game play, but there really isn't much else to say.

The map is certainly reminiscent of Super Mario World

    This game throws in a few new things which I'm honestly not sure they've done since. Firstly, besides the normal power up mushroom, you get both the classic Fire Flower power up and one of the best Mario powers ever: the Bunny Ears. They allow you to float after you jump. They are immensely satisfying to use. They are also fun, and they make parts in the game easier because you can just float. 

Cute as a goddamn button

    Not a big deal, but instead of the green 1-up mushrooms, 1-ups are represented by hearts. I assume they did this because the Gameboy had so few colors to use that it would have been hard to differentiate the 1-up mushroom and the normal mushroom. Or maybe they wanted something different. What the hell do I know? Also, coins work pretty differently. Instead of collecting 100 coins and getting a 1-up, you can collect up to 999 coins and use them in a gambling game that you can find on the overworld map. You can potentially win (I think) 30 1-ups (plus other things). I actually like this. I just like different things in the Mario formula. 

    Finally, as I've blabbed about already, this game is short. I think this is a good thing because it perfectly fits in with it being a handheld game. You can pick up and play for just a few minutes if that's all you have. It's a game I could see myself playing again soon, in part because it is so short. As AMAZING as Final Fantasy IV Advance was, I probably won't play  it again for awhile because it represents another 25+ hours I gotta give up.
    Okay, let's talk about bosses (I got all these boss names from a 6 Golden Coins wiki (which I of course didn't write down). I have no idea why they are so bizarre)!

BOSSES:

Tatanga

Pooping dodgeballs?

   

    He flies from one side of the screen to the other. He shoots balls from below his spaceship that come towards you, but they fly up into space at the last second. He also shoots crescents straight ahead as he hovers. Just jump (no gravity, so be careful!) on his head as he flies from one side to the other.

Kurosu

 

 

Oh those beautiful scan lines

    He flies around from one side of the screen to the other. Three hops on his head will put him down. Very easy

Rikki

 

Ouch

    There are three pipes: one on the left side of the wall, two on the right. The rat just goes in one and randomly (maybe) comes out a different one. Again, just gotta jump on him three times. It’s kinda tough because he’s very fast, but it’s hardly unmanageable.

Sabasa

 

Was this the inspiration for that dumb witch from Yoshi's Island?

    There’s three cauldrons on the ground. The witch just disappears and reappears and shoots fireballs. They will either come at you, or go to the bottom of the cauldrons, causing the lids to erupt up. Pretty easy to avoid all her attacks though.

Three Little Pigheads

 

Three Little Assholes (um, that sounds disgusting)

    Besides Wario, this boss gave me the toughest time. There are three pigs, and you have to beat all three. The first comes down and rolls around. You need to jump on him three times. Every time you jump on him, he gets faster. After three jumps, the next pig comes out. He will hop around the room. Again, with each hit, he gets quicker. After he is dispatched, the final pig comes out. He also jumps, but jumps much higher and is tough to jump on his head. Get him three times, and these fuckers are dead and gone.

Pako

 

Very suspicious

    This boss swims around an underwater area. He expels smaller octopi. All you really have to do is swim near the top and jump out of the water, and land on his head. Very easy.

Wario

 

Look at this goofy piece of crap

    The battle with Wario is a long and multi-layered one. It starts in his throne room. He runs around the room and stomps around. There are these light bulb-looking things that constantly move at the top of the screen. When Wario jumps and lands, one of these lights will fall. This first part of the battle is easy. Dodge Wario and his falling lights, and jump on his head three times.
    He runs into the next room after you jump on him three times. You can grab a carrot to get the bunny power-up before entering the room. Wario himself gets a carrot to get the bunny power-up. Otherwise, the lights still move along the top of the screen. Wario jumps and floats around and eventually he'll stomp down. Again, this causes a light to fall. Just jump (and float) to avoid Wario, and give him three knocks on the head.
    The next part of the battle has Wario getting a fire flower (grab the mushroom in the previous room if you need it). There's no more lights that fall, but Wario can shoot large fireballs (as you would imagine). He also runs around the room and jumps. His fireballs are slow and pretty easy to dodge. Just jump on his head, you guessed it, three times, and Wario turns into a small child-like evil troll (???) that cries. You take Wario's Castle, and that's that. The game is beaten!


    And that'll do it, ladies and germs (are people still saying that? "ladies and germs"? I'll have to look into it). It's a pretty simple game, and this is a pretty simple blog post. Don't mind that it took me about six weeks to write it. I would certainly suggest this game to anyone looking for a lighthearted, short, yet quite fun Mario adventure. Don't mind those Gameboy graphics! Thanks for reading, and check back soon (?) for more B-LOG SLAYING posts!

Da end