Shane Remembers... (12/5/2014)

Happy birthday, ya old bastard!   

    Since the Playstation just turned 20, I'd thought I would celebrate by showcasing a random assortment of PS1 games I loved as a kid. The well of memories for my "Shane Remembers..." posts is starting to run dry (don't cry, though. It'll be okay). I suppose a guy with an AWFUL memory wiring specifically about stuff he remembers from 10-20 years ago was not my best idea. I'm cheating a little bit this week with at least one game that's on my official backlog. I still have enough content for at least three weeks, and I'm hoping to wrack my brain for more relevant stuff. Once I finally run out of stuff to remember, I'll think about altering what this weekly post is all about. But, we'll burn that bridge when we get there (then forgot that we got there and burned a bridge. As long as I don't have to write about it years in the future, I'll be good) 

Picture courtesy of retroboyadvance

MEDAL OF HONOR (PS1)

    I'm not, nor have I ever been a huge fan of first person shooters. But if there's one thing I dislike more than first person shooters, it's war games (or war movies. Or war TV shows. Or war books. War in general I find awfully icky). However, I LOVE this game (and most of the pre-PS3 ones). This very well may have been the first FPS I ever played. Back before they were all about jacking off all over your Internet friends while you mindlessly shoot people for an accumulative 555 hours without any kind of story. Ahem. Anyway, there was something very satisfying about killing Nazis. It wasn't gorey, but it still made you feel all patriotic inside. I especially LOVED those missions where you had to sneak around, disguised in German clothes. One suspicious move and your were toast. And you always needed your papers. God, I want to play this game right now. Throw Battlefield 4 out the window and track down a copy of the original Medal Of Honor, ya meatheads! 

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

 ARMY MEN 3D (PS1)

    Boy, for someone that just spent time complaining about hating war, I probably shouldn't have started off with two war-centric games. Anyway, this game is much less realistic and not at all serious like Medal Of Honor. You play as green army men, and you gotta take out the tan ones. I don't have the vivid memories of this one like I do with MoH, but I put many fun hours into this game. It had a fun story, but I'm pretty sure I was quite partial to the two-player death match sort of mode. It wasn't a traditional death match, and instead may have been a capture-the-flag deal, but I honestly don't remember. What I do remember is a bedroom-type level, and that was a favorite to play in. There were several sequels after this, but I'm not sure I played more than one or two of them. This one, and probably the immediate sequel, still stand out as fun games to me. 

Picture courtesy of gamefaqs

EXCALIBUR 2555 A.D. (PS1)

    This is a game that, as time goes on, I'm becoming more and more convinced only my dad and I have ever really played it. And for good reason. Let me take you back to the glory days of the Playstation. As I've expunged on before, we (basically) didn't have the internet. Again, this was probably 1996/1997. My dad would make it a habit to go to Toys 'R Us, once a week it seemed, and just buy a random PS1 game. Was it gonna be good? Was it gonna be horrendous? We couldn't know until it was purchased, brought home, and played. That's how I was exposed to games like this one, One, Nightmare Creatures, and Overblood (coming up soon!). This game stars a descendant of Merlin, I think. I give this game props for having a female (I think she's supposed to be a teenager too) lead. Even nowadays, it's pretty rare. Anywho, you go through thirteen-or-fourteen stages, with the simple goal of getting to the exit. There are puzzles to figure out, things to retrieve (aren't there ever with this game), and naturally, enemies to kill. Here's how a basic level goes in this game (not specific examples, necessarily, but a general gist):

1. Talk to someone
2. They have something you need (let's say, a keycard). In order to get it, they tell you something they need (and let's say, a medical kit)
3. Wander through the level. Encounter a locked door.
4.  Meet another NPC. He has the key to that door. But he needs booze
5. Wander around. Find the booze. 
6. Bring it back to the booze-needing NPC. Trade it for the key. Go through the locked door.
7. You find cheese
8. Find another NPC. He wants you to find his pet rat
9. Find yet another NPC that is blocking a doorway. In order for him to move, you need to bribe him with something
10. You find grog. Bring it to the guy blocking the doorway.
11. He moves, and inside you find a rat-hole.
12. Place the cheese down, the rat comes out. Hopefully you found a rat cage throughout the level
13. Catch the rat, and bring it back to his owner..
14. Monotonous stuff
15. Tedious stuff
16. Backtracking stuff
17. Monotonous stuff
18. Monotonous and tedious stuff
19. Boss fight
20. Backtracking tedium makes you question your very soul's essence
21. Eventually, you get the medical kit, trade it to the guy all the way back at the beginning, and then you can leave the level with the obtained keycard.

    Okay, I've taken some exaggerated liberties in my overlong example, but this game really is one GIGANTIC fetch quest. But, it holds a strong nostalgia within my heart, so I like it. I own it, and I plan on playing through it again some time. Final fun note: even though it's on Playstation, it uses a password system!

Picture courtesy of emuparadise

 OVERBLOOD (PS1)

    Told you it was coming up soon! Again, like Excalibur above, this was a game (I originally wrote, "guy". Kinda funny?) that my dad bought on a whim. Also like Excalibur, it's pretty primitive and does not come close to standing up to the test of time. However, I still like it. It probably stirs up more good emotion in me then Excalibur does. It's essentially a sci-fi adventure game. You wake up from a cryogenic sleep with no memory. The game tasks you with figuring out what the deal is with that. It relies on puzzles mostly, and there are very few instances of action (there are probably a dozen, or less, fights in the game). Graphics are bad, voice acting is bad, controls are bad, but it's still so good. A sequel even came out, but it was never released here in the states. I need to get my hands on a copy somehow.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia

INTELLIGENT QUBE (PS1)

    Almost like the one that got away. I rented this game once, and every other time I ever played it was on a demo disc. Remember when Playstation magazines came with demo discs? God, that was the best part of getting those magazines. In retrospect, I really wish I had all my old demo discs. I played the hell out of this demo, and I thought it was an amazingly creative puzzle game. It's tough to find puzzle games I like, so this was a revelation. Of course, nowadays it's pretty pricey to find CIB (that's industry talk for "Correct Instance of Box"*). Why wouldn't it be? One day, I'll get this game complete. And I'll play it. Then I'll get frustrated because I can't beat level two. Then I'll put it away, never to be played again. Life is funny like that. Oh, what is this game about? Pushing colored blocks and making sure you don't get crushed/fall of the edge into the abyss. It definitely stares back hard in this game. Also, let me say how much I love the spelling of "cube" as "qube", making the initials of the game IQ! Genius!



    Thanks for reading another (hastily put-together) "Shane Remembers..." This one is probably my best yet, because these are all games I owned (besides the last one, of course), and I played them a lot. So I actually have some tangible memories of them, as opposed to games played for a total of 75 minutes. Check back next week for another great installment!


**Just kidding, it stands for, "Complete In Box". You're welcome